Exhibition (Part 2)

[raeschae]

Tactile
Feel

Jared has always been what his mother calls a tactile kind of guy. He needs to touch in order to really understand. It's the reason he's always hugging people, or reaching out to run a hand over the back of their necks or down their arms. Just seeing someone standing there isn't enough for Jared; he needs to feel them.

When he awakes in the morning to find Jensen half-hanging off the opposite side of the bed, he smiles. Obviously, Jensen is not a tactile kind of guy. However, he's still in Jared's bed, so even without the feeling of waking up wrapped around someone, he considers it a win.

As quietly as he can, Jared slips out of his room and into the kitchen. He'll make his own coffee when he gets to work, but he figures Jensen might want some here before he leaves. His phone is flashing on his end table, a new text message awaiting him, so he brushes the screen with his thumb as he makes his way into the kitchen.

Hot guy from the bar asked me out. Call me.

The beauty of having a best friend who waitresses at the most popular bar in town is that she's rarely in bed by the time he gets up for work. Hitting the speed dial, he searches the cabinet while the phone rings against his ear.

“Hey friend!” Genevieve is perky and alert when she answers.

It's a little unsettling, quite frankly, as Jared's never really seen Genevieve acting perky. “Uh, hey. How's bar guy?”

“Bar guy has a name, ya know,” she huffs a little, but Jared can tell she's smiling too hard to really be insulted. “It's Dave, and I haven't gone out with him yet, so I'll get back to ya on that.” Jared grunts absently, more focused on getting the coffee started than whatever Genevieve is babbling about. “Jared, pull your head out of your ass and listen to me.”

“Jensen spent the night last night,” he blurts.

“Spent the night where?”

“Here!” Jared clears his throat, peeking his head around the corner of the kitchen to make sure that Jensen is still sleeping. He's rolled back toward the center of the bed, and Jared wishes he could just go back in there and curl around those long, naked limbs instead of being here on the phone with Genevieve. “I went to his show last night, and then he came over after.”

She sighs heavily on the other end of the phone. “Jared.”

“Don't,” he interrupts before she can go on. “Just. I don't wanna hear your logic yet. I know all of the million reasons I shouldn't be this excited, and all of the many ways it could go horribly wrong.” He turns to rest his hips against the counter. “I know that it doesn't mean anything yet or whatever. But I'm not poking holes in your happiness, so leave mine alone for now, okay?”

For a second, Jared thinks maybe she hung up on him but then she says, “Promise me something. Don't just fall for the sex this time, okay?”

He promises to call her later and drops the phone onto the counter before brushing his fingers through his hair. She's not wrong. No matter how much he hates to admit it, Jared knows that Genevieve has a point. She's known him since high school, since he fell too hard for that kid on the debate team who wasn't exactly attractive, but had the best hands Jared had ever felt, his own included. Genevieve listened to him babble for an hour about the guy in his creative writing workshop freshman year who turned him out like nobody ever had, but who could barely remember his name when they were dressed.

If anyone knows just how susceptible Jared is to the right touch at the right time, it's Genevieve. She has every right to ask him to make that promise, but he desperately wants to believe that she's wrong this time. Hell, fucking around with Tom hasn't made him fall in love with the guy and he's damn good at pretty much everything. People change; Jared has changed.

Heading back into his room, he perches himself on the side of his bed and rests a hand on Jensen's warm shoulder. “Hey,” he whispers, his fingers lingering on the smooth skin for a second before he shakes Jensen a little harder. “Jensen.”

Jensen mumbles something into his pillow that sounds a little like “What time is it?” but Jared can't say that for sure.

“C'mon, man. It's five fifteen.” Jensen cracks an eye open, flips Jared off with the hand not stuffed under his pillow, and then burrows further into the mattress. “Alright, fine. You wanna do the walk of shame in front of the early crowd downstairs, it's your call.”

He's pretty sure that Jensen just falls back asleep, so he jumps a little when the shower door slides open a few minutes later. Crowding in close behind Jared, Jensen reaches around for the shampoo and then presses his face to Jared's back.

It's probably not the most effective use of a shower ever – it's barely big enough for them to both get wet at the same time – but Jared's not complaining. He doesn't mind the fact that Jensen doesn't say a word, alternating between actually washing and groping Jared's ass. In fact, he kind of likes the fact that they can communicate without saying anything at all.

When Jensen leans against the shower wall and pulls Jared in for a deep good morning kiss, Jared realizes that he hasn't changed nearly enough in the last few years. He's still going to fall for the feeling of Jensen against him before he can stop himself. The problem is Jared's having a hard time caring right now.

Confessions on a Dance Floor
Dance

Though he doesn't often admit it, Jensen likes hanging out in a good club with a hot bass line thrumming through his chest while he drinks just enough to forget that he can't actually dance. It's not about the rhythm or knowing all the moves. It's about taking to the floor, pressed in close to a hundred other sweating bodies, and knowing that someone out there is watching him move. It doesn't matter who that someone is, or even if they never have a conversation. What matters is being spotted, watched, and wanted.

With his tee shirt tucked into his back pocket and Ian draped over his back, Jensen forces himself not to think about Jared, or the fact that he bailed on hanging out at the coffee shop tonight to come out with Ian and Alona. Jared's an awesome guy, whatever they have going right now is really fucking good, but this is a part of who Jensen is and what he loves. He can't give that up because he's spent three of the last five nights at Jared's place.

To be fair, Jared hasn't asked him for anything. He hasn't even really talked about what they do at night. In the morning, he still watches with the girls through the window. When Jensen stops in during the day, they flirt like they did before, like nothing has changed at all. Even after they've fucked around for awhile, he just kind of kicks back and lets Jensen decide if he's going to stay or go without ever offering his opinion on the matter either way.

“You've got an audience,” Ian says against his ear, but there's no intent like there would be if Jared was here with him.

As soon as Jensen thinks it, he blinks his eyes and pushes his ass back against Ian. This is why he's here. Over at the bar, a decent-looking guy in leather pants isn't even trying to hide the interest in his eyes as Jensen raises one arm and loops it around Ian's neck. He drops his head back and pulls one of Ian's arms around his waist until the flat of his palm is resting against Jensen's bare stomach.

When he looks again, the guy sort of lifts his glass in a toast and then barely nods toward the empty stool at his left. Jensen responds by turning and resting both hands on the back of Ian's neck while riding his thigh.

Ian studies him, expression knowing and amused. “You've got it bad, huh?”

“What?” Jensen can hear him just fine, but he moves closer anyway.

The huff of Ian's breath on his neck feels good against the sweat dampening his skin. “You're such a fucking tease, man.” He pulls back again and shakes his head at the feigned innocence on Jensen's face. “You wanna head out? I could go for a coffee.”

Jensen tightens his hold and presses his chest to Ian's, bodies still rocking even though they're clearly not actually dancing anymore. “It's only eleven,” Jensen reminds him. They've only been here twenty minutes and Jensen has no intention of leaving until he can barely walk his dance-numbed legs out of this club.

Ian has this infuriating little smirk that drives Jensen crazy. Sometimes it's the good kind of crazy, but right now it's falling short of sexy. “Jared's a good guy. Seems interested in more than your ass.” To accentuate his point, he gives said ass a squeeze with both hands. “Nothin' wrong with bein' into him, ya know?”

“Oh, I know,” Jensen assures him, grinding down on Ian's thigh with a moan. “Thing is, you can never have too much of a good thing, man,” There is no doubt that Jensen really likes Jared, but the feeling of Ian's body against his is good, too. Maybe it's not as good, but it's enough right now.

Ian just rolls his eyes. Jensen excels at a few things, but posturing is definitely toward the top of the list. It's one of those things he's been doing for so long, it's become second nature and Ian can spot it before Jensen even starts doing it.

“Jensen, man.” He laughs and shakes his head, distancing himself a few inches again. “When are you gonna start lettin' yourself off the hook, huh?” Framing Jensen's face with both hands, he leans their foreheads together and smiles again. “Jared's got the seal of approval from all of us. You let him get away 'cause you're still hung up on shit that happened forever ago? I will kick your fuckable ass. Are we clear?”

He punctuates the question by dropping a quick kiss on Jensen's mouth and then leaving him alone in the middle of the dance floor.

It's great in theory, the idea that he can just put everything behind him and jump on this chance to actually have what he wants to have with Jared. He's just not sure that it's what he deserves. He's absolutely sure it's far less than Jared deserves.

He stands there, mindlessly moving to a beat he's not listening to anymore, until Leather Pants catches his periphery. Twenty minutes ago, the predatory stare and the feeling of that warm hand on his bare back would have been a charge. Now it feels like it's weighing him down.

Turning, Jensen smiles a little and shakes his head at the guy. “Sorry. I, uh. I gotta go.”

At the bar, Ian salutes and Alona hugs him when Jensen tells them that he has somewhere better to be. He's not ready to admit that his friends might be right or anything, but the only eyes he wants watching him move right now are Jared's.

An Unexpected Turn
Touch

If Jared had his way, this night would be going a lot differently.

For one thing, he would be hanging out with Jensen instead of serving smoothies to a bunch of high school kids with nowhere better to hang out than a fucking coffee shop on a Saturday night. Also, Jensen would not be out with Ian, and Tom would not be staring at him from the table closest to the counter.

He can't blame Jensen for not wanting to stick around, watching him work. He has no claim on the guy, so he can't exactly demand that he not hang out with one of his friends just because Ian is stupidly hot and sometimes likes Jensen's mouth on his dick.

As for Tom, this is a public place so it's not like he can just kick his ass out. Besides, he makes a decent distraction so Jared's not that interested in telling him to leave anyway. He feels like a douche for even considering inviting Tom upstairs when he closes up in about fifteen minutes, using him to keep his mind off whatever Jensen might be doing with Ian tonight. It won't kill him to watch some television or read a book; at least he can sleep with a clear conscience.

He's standing at the cash register, finishing a sale for a couple who is way too into the PDA, when the bell rings over the door and Jensen winks at him from the door. Seeing him is good, but seeing him alone is better.

When the couple leaves, Jared moves back down to the coffee counter where Jensen is leaning forward on his elbows. It's probably coincidence that he's positioned in the perfect place to block Jared's view of Tom. “Aren't you supposed to be with Ian?” He bends to meet Jensen at eye level, closer than is professional without really caring who walks in at the moment.

Jensen gives a little shrug, the amusement in his eyes not unlike a kid lookin' to start some trouble. “I was.”

“But you're not now?” He can't help looking around to make sure that Ian wasn't just parking the car or something.

“I'm not now.” Jensen's tongue traces his lower lip, eyes flitting to Jared's mouth and back up to his eyes. “You got plans after you close up?”

Jared's not even really thinking anymore when he smiles like an idiot. “I do now.”

Over Jensen's shoulder, he sees Tom stand and clear his throat. Jared has to blink a few times to refocus his attention as he pulls away from the counter. Tom's coffee cup is empty when he sets it on the counter and looks from Jared to the place where Jensen is rounding the counter. “We still on for dinner Tuesday, Jay?”

Honestly, Jared would like to answer. The problem is that Jensen has decided now would be a good time to slide one hand down his back and the other into his front pocket. His nose brushes the side of Jared's neck as he pulls the keys free and bites softly against Jared's shoulder. “Okay if I grab a quick shower?” His words are low, but clearly not meant to go unheard.

When Jared nods his head, Jensen winks again and gives Jared's hip a squeeze before heading in the direction of the stairs. If he didn't know better, he would think that Jensen was getting kind of possessive.

“Tell ya what,” Tom smiles easily, knowingly, and says, “Call me when you wanna get together again, okay?”

He doesn't seem angry when he leaves, but Jared still feels bad. When they had talked about grabbing dinner later in the week, Jared thought that Jensen was going to end up back at Ian's tonight. Maybe it says something about his feelings for Jensen if he's so far on the hook that he's willing to ditch the other plans he's made just because the guy decided to show up tonight in jeans made of more holes than denim.

By the time he closes up, balances his register and heads up to the apartment, it's almost twelve thirty. Jensen is kicked back on his couch in his underwear, beer bottle on one thigh and the television remote on the other. “This movie's not bad,” he says, as though he does this all the time.

“I smell like burnt coffee beans,” Jared retorts, catching a whiff of his own hair as he turns his head to look around the room. “Shoulda waited,” he says, dropping onto the couch to give Jensen the kiss he was dying to give him downstairs. “We could've showered together.”

Jensen moans against Jared's mouth for a second and then pulls away. “Go on,” he smiles, hand resting on the back of Jared's hair before he lets it drift to the base of his neck. “Get cleaned up, then come watch this movie with me. I'm serious, it doesn't suck.”

Temporarily forgetting pretty much everything as Jensen scratches blunt fingernails over his skin, Jared leans back into the touch. “You didn't come here to watch a movie.”

“We've got all night,” he promises against Jared's neck. “And tomorrow, if you want.” Nipping playfully at his jaw, Jensen pulls back with a smile. “What d'ya say? Wanna hang out?”

“Want you to keep doin' that.” It's not a particularly coherent or anything but dammit, Jensen's very good at this.

Pulling his hand out of the back of Jared's shirt, Jensen drops another quick kiss on his neck and counters with, “You finish this movie with me, and I will touch you anywhere you want.”

Jared's off the couch in a flash, nearly tripping over his own feet to get to the shower while Jensen laughs from the couch.

Caring and Sharing
Secret

It's two thirty on Thursday afternoon when Jensen happens to glance toward the coffee shop window. Sure, he's maybe happened to let his gaze wander in the direction a lot this week, but it's not like he can be blamed. The things Jared can do with whipped cream and chocolate syrup are impressive, okay?

He was just over there, grabbing a sandwich from the deli next door about an hour ago. It's totally feasible that he might be craving coffee right now, isn't it? It's not a creepy stalker thing at all.

It's humid today, the air sticking to his skin as he jogs across the street and lets himself into the shop. Jared looks up as soon as he enters, knowing smile starting in his eyes and then spreading across his lips. “Just couldn't stay away, could ya?” he teases.

Jensen rolls his eyes and pulls away from the kiss to straighten his back. “I need caffeine,” he defends. “Someone kept me up too late last night.”

Flipping the cup in some ridiculous Cocktail fashion, Jared starts making whatever he thinks Jensen might be in the mood for today. Jensen is kind of stupidly fond of the way Jared never asks what he wants, but always seems to make him the perfect thing to hit a spot he didn't even know needed hitting.

“Dude, I was at work at five thirty this morning,” Jared reminds him.

It's true that Jensen didn't stumble into the studio until just before his nine thirty performance today, but it totally wasn't his fault. Jared dragged him into the shower at four forty-five this morning, and then abandoned him around five twenty. He can't be expected to act all well-rested when there are interruptions like that to his peaceful sleep.

He takes the coffee and kicks one of the chairs out to sit at the table. They're alone in the shop for now, so Jensen can stare at Jared, and Jared can stare back, without anyone mocking them for it. They don't spend a lot of time gazing into each others' eyes or anything, but once in awhile, it's kind of cool to feel like they're both in the same moment without a the need for words.

“You ever feel like we don't really know each other at all?”

The question surprises Jensen, but he manages to maintain his cool while swallowing his coffee. “I'd say we know each other pretty well,” he jokes, aiming for seductive and falling more than a little bit short.

Jared shakes his head and smiles. “I didn't do a single homework assignment in eleventh grade. Not one.”

“Bull shit. That's not even possible.”

“Sure it is,” Jared answers easily, leaning back against the espresso machine, arms folded over his chest. “I had one friend in every class that did it for me. None of them knew about the others, though. I passed my entire junior year by only taking tests.”

Though he's not entirely sure that Jared's telling him the whole truth, Jensen nods his head like he's impressed anyway. “This story have one of those after-school special, 'I couldn't do it because my mom was sick in the hospital' twists of nobility at the end?”

The wicked glint in Jared's eye when he smiles in response makes Jensen a little hotter than it probably should. “Fuck no,” Jared says. “I couldn't do it because I was too busy with basketball.” He shrugs before he adds, “Well, that and I was fuckin' my Chemistry teacher's daughter a lot.”

“I honestly do not know what to say right now.” It's not often that Jensen is speechless; Jared should be proud of himself.

Instead of waiting for a pat on the back, Jared asks, “What about you?”

“What about me what?”

“What's your secret, Jensen? The thing you've never told anybody?”

Oh, the answers Jensen could give. It's safer to go with, “My secrets aren't that interesting, man.”

Jared rounds the corner and perches on the corner of the table next to Jensen. “Alright. How 'bout this one? I'm terrified that I'm gonna get a hit on one of those resumes that I sent out. It's not even that I love it here so much or anything, but I just. I don't know, man. It freaks me out, the thought of getting a real job and growing up.”

Sometimes it's easy to forget that Jared is only twenty-three. Jensen remembers well that struggle, between what he was supposed to do and what he actually wanted for his life. He also remembers how hard it was to admit that to anyone, and how good it felt when he finally did open up about it.

Clearing his throat, he lowers his eyes to the table and says, “I've done some really fucked up shit, ya know? My friends think I should let it go and move on or whatever, but I can't help wonderin' when it's gonna come back to bite me in the ass. I worry about that a lot. Like pretty much all the time.”

To his credit, Jared doesn't make any stupid reassurances about how Jensen's going to be fine or whatever. He also doesn't press for any further details, though that could be because a tiny tornado blows through the door, apologizing profusely for being late.

Jared just shrugs it off. “It's not a big deal, Sandy. Don't worry about it.” Turning to Jensen, he asks, “You gotta head back, or you wanna come up for awhile?”

As surprisingly vulnerable as he feels right now, Jensen thinks the smartest thing to do is retreat to his studio and figure out how Jared punched through his defenses without even really trying. But then he meets Jared's eye, and all he can think to say is, “Lead the way.”

All Worked Up
Flush

This thing with Jensen has always been a little bit unsettling. Jared fakes it pretty well, but he's always felt just a little off-balance when it comes to being in the same room with this guy who is so unbelievably attractive. It's sometimes hard to believe that he's actually real. He thought things had been settling down over the last couple of weeks, but now that Jensen is standing in his living room, that disoriented feeling is bubbling back up in his gut again.

Is he supposed to pick up the conversation where they left off? Does Jensen expect to just ignore it and get naked? Should they just watch a movie and see where that goes? In college, even back in high school, Jared was always the confident one. Even now, with guys like Tom, he's the one who decides where they have dinner, and what they do after dinner. Still, he finds himself deferring to Jensen more often than he takes control. It's just weird.

“Uh, you invite me up to stand around all awkward and shit?” Jensen asks, voice a mixture of confusion and amusement.

Turning, Jared runs his fingers through his hair. He can feel his cheeks heating up and, again, it's not normal. Jared has done his fair share of stupid, embarrassing, dumb-ass shit – he has long limbs, and he's not always in complete control of them – but he doesn't blush. Chalk another one up to Jensen.

Smirking, Jensen kicks his shoes off by the door and slowly walks toward Jared. Maybe it's better if he's in the driver's seat anyway. “First time I saw you,” he says, stopping to hook a finger inside the waistband of Jared's jeans while he holds eye contact steady, “it was before I ever took the studio.” He pulls Jared's tee shirt up with one hand and rubs the other over his stomach. “My first night in town, Misha was showin' me around. We pulled up to the light outside the coffee shop, and you were wipin' down a table.”

Jared's breath catches when Jensen runs a hand further up his chest and catches his lip between his teeth. Instead of interrupting the story, he lifts his arms over his head and lets Jensen pull his shirt off. He has no idea where this is going – the story or any of the rest of it – but he's more than willing to ride shotgun.

“There was this girl sitting at the table. I don't know who she was, or what she said, but she made you smile.” He rests one hand on Jared's hip and lets the other trail over Jared's chest as he leans forward, mouth hot against Jared's ear. “You've got the best smile, Jared.”

The girl could have been Sandy, or maybe Genevieve. Jared has no idea when Jensen got into town and he wouldn't be able to remember who he was talking to that night anyway. It's a shame; it'd be nice to be able to thank whoever helped him catch Jensen's eye.

“Best arms,” Jensen goes on, breathing against Jared's neck without ever touching his lips to the skin. “Hands.” Jared might whimpers a little,he sound that comes out of his mouth could also be categorized as a high-pitched yelp. Either way, it's not very manly but he can't really help it with Jensen's thumb teasing the waistband of his pants like that. “Jesus, your shoulders,” he adds, dragging the point of his tongue along the swell of said shoulder.

Jared somehow manages to keep standing upright, even when Jensen puts a little bit of distance between them and looks him over again. His scrutiny only makes Jared blush deeper. “Jen,” he starts to protest.

“Ya know what the best part of that night was, Jay?” It's the first time Jensen has used Jared's nickname and even that makes this hotter. Jesus, Jared is in big fucking trouble. “You didn't even fucking know, man. So fucking hot, and you don't even fucking know it.”

The thing is, Jared does know that he's a good-looking guy. He knows he has a good body, too – hell, he's worked hard enough for it so it better be good – but sometimes Jensen looks at him like he wants more than that. More often, he makes Jared want more than that.

“Not so bad yourself,” he manages to choke out before his head falls back, Jensen sucking at his throat. “C'mon, man.” He's begging, but he just doesn't care anymore.

When he reaches out, Jensen steps away completely, grin stretching clear across his face. “You c'mon,” he grabs Jared's wrist and drags him toward the bedroom. “You goin' anywhere any time soon?”

Jared is supposed to meet his parents for dinner, but they can wait if this takes that long. The whole fucking world can wait for all he cares right now. “I got time,” he smiles a little when Jensen pulls him into the bedroom.

“Awesome. Get naked.” It's a basic order, nothing he hasn't heard before, but coming from Jensen it practically sets his skin on fire. “I got big plans for you, Jay.”

Just Like in the Movies
Surrender

So Jensen's got Jared naked, sprawled out on the bed, face and chest flushed, mouth barely open and his breathing uneven. The way Jensen runs his tongue over his lower lip probably makes him look a little like a lion watching a pack of antelope or something, but Jared is naked, not to mention totally his for the taking.

This isn't the first time he's been the aggressor, but he's still not sure what he wants to do next. Well, he can think of a lot of things he wants to do but where to start is the question here.

Jensen strips his shirt over his head, catching the dark flash in Jared's eye when he opens the button on his jeans. He's pretty sure he could convince him to do just about anything right now. That alone is power Jensen's probably not responsible enough to wield.

Climbing onto the bed, he rests a knee on either side of Jared's hips and leans forward to rest his weight on his hands and knees. He dips his head to nip at his collarbone and then laughs when Jared squirms and groans in frustration under him. “Problem?” he asks with a smirk.

“Nah.” Jared is lightning quick when he wraps his arms around Jensen's waist and flips them over. Actually, he kind of throws Jensen off to the side with a grunt and then rolls on top of him, but Jensen's pretty sure he was going for a flip. “I'm good now.”

Normally, Jared being all toppy is pretty much the hottest thing ever, but Jensen was all set to be in charge of this one. Running his bare foot up the back of Jared's thigh, he shakes his head and attempts a flip of his own, which ends up with Jared losing his balance and crushing Jensen into the mattress.

“Dude,” he grunts beneath Jared's weight. “I can't breathe.”

Jared just rolls onto his back, blinking at the ceiling. “Somehow, I saw that going differently.”

How this devolved from one of the hottest afternoons of Jensen's life to one of the most ridiculous, he doesn't know but it makes him laugh, sudden and sharp. “What the hell was that?”

Jared is laughing at his side, shaking his head a little. “I don't know, man. I thought I could hold you down with one hand and get your pants off with the other.” These jeans are tighter than some of his other work ones, so Jensen knows Jared's plan would not have worked. The thought of it makes him laugh again. “Shut up. It works in the movies.”

Rolling off the bed, Jensen rids himself of the rest of his clothes. It'd be a lot easier if he wasn't laughing so hard at Jared's fucked up logic. “Superheroes fly in movies, too, Jay. Vampires sparkle and sometimes the world blows up.” He lies back on the bed, an arm behind his head. “Oh, remember the one we watched the other night? The one where that dude totally averted the apocalypse all by himself.” He's not usually big on mocking the guy he's about to fuck, but if you ask Jensen, Jared has this one coming.

While Jensen is trying to come up with other ridiculous things he's seen in movies, Jared is busy sucking his way down Jensen's chest. It feels amazing, but Jensen's not about to let his thought train be derailed so easily.

“Jensen?” Jared asks, breath ghosting across Jensen's hip. When Jensen leans up to look at him, Jared flicks his tongue across the head of Jensen's cock and Jensen can't help but rest his hand on the back of Jared's head to keep him close. “You gonna shut up now?”

God, Jensen can feel the brush of Jared's lips against him with every word and it's too much. Falling back against the pillows, he nods. “How the hell do you do that?” he asks on a laugh.

Jared just wraps his hand around Jensen's cock and drags it lazily up and down while his lips turn up into a half smile at the corner. “Do what?”

At this point, words fail him. Jensen wants to ask how Jared takes him from laughing like an idiot to so hard he can't see straight in all of three seconds. He wants to ask how he started this day in control and somehow ended up writhing around like a whore for Jared's mouth around his cock. Hell, he wants to ask how that conversation they started down in the coffee shop earlier somehow led to this.

Then Jared grips Jensen's cock, twists on the upstroke, and envelopes the head with spit-slicked lips that feel so awesome, Jensen can only grunt something so incoherent even he's not sure what it was supposed to be. It's not slow, tentative, sweet, or romantic; it's wet, dirty, sloppy, and perfect.

When Jared meets his eye and groans from low in his throat, Jensen grips a handful of his hair tight and fucks into his mouth harder than he probably should. Jared just groans around him, his eyes drifting shut in a picture of complete ecstasy. The image is better than any piece of art Jensen has ever created in his studio.

He's about to lose his mind when Jared releases him with a ragged, gasping breath, his fist a vice around Jensen's dick as he tilts his head back and strokes him fast until Jensen comes hard against Jared's throat.

With a cocky little chuckle, Jared flops down at Jensen's side and presses a kiss to his collarbone. “I win,” he mumbles.

Jensen's not one to concede defeat so easily but he has a feeling that he might be looking for a white flag by the time today is over.

Seed of Doubt
Truth

“Venti cafe mocha, no sugar, no whipped cream, extra dry, half skim, half whole milk. Not two percent, Jay. It's not the same thing. And just enough raspberry syrup for me to taste it without tasting it.”

Jared raises an eyebrow at Genevieve, who is smiling impishly from the other side of the counter. “Venti. That's a large, right?” He smirks when she folds her arms on the counter and rests her head against them. “Long night?”

Genevieve is the kind of comfortable that only comes from being friends with someone who's known him since he was a shy, chubby seventh grader. She doesn't ask a lot of unnecessary questions and she's not afraid to offer advice when Jared needs it, even if he really doesn't want it.

“Dude, I think I've slept about six hours in the last five days.” Peeking out through the curtain of her dark hair, she blows a little of it out of her face and smiles in spite of herself. “Dating is fucking hard.”

Jared turns, sliding her cup across the counter before he crosses his arms over his chest. “How is hot bar guy?” Genevieve squints her eyes in that way that's supposed to be threatening, but makes her look more like a petulant six-year-old. “Dave. I'm sorry, how is Dave?”

She sighs, standing up to sip at her foamy coffee before she answers. “He's good. I like him.” Jared angles his head and she cracks. “Alright, he's awesome, okay? I really like him, Jay.”

He's known Genevieve for so long that sometimes he forgets she's a girl – probably because she's always insisted Jared treat her like one of the guys – and then she talks about a guy with this smile that lights up her face, and it's too obvious to deny.

“So tell me about him.” He's been so caught up in Jensen lately that he feels like he's losing touch with the rest of the world. His parents reminded him of that when he showed up late for dinner the other night.

Genevieve doesn't hesitate to jump right in, telling Jared all about her new boyfriend. He's from a town about forty-five miles away, works for an investment firm a county over, and is quite creative in finding ways to spend time with her even though their schedules are insanely out of whack. Jared has to admit that he sounds pretty perfect for Genevieve.

“I wanna meet him,” he says when she finally finishes extolling Dave's innumerable virtues. “We should double some time.”

It takes her longer to swallow her drink this time and when she smiles, it's a little forced around the edges. “Yeah, totally.” She nods again, but Jared can't tell if she's trying to convince him or herself that it's a good idea.

“What?”

“Nothing,” Genevieve answers too quickly. When Jared tips his head and fixes his gaze on her, she sighs. “How much do you know about Jensen? I mean, really know about him?”

There's something in her tone that makes his stomach drop. “What do you mean?”

“No, it's not. I mean, I don't wanna. Jay, it's not my place.” She sighs, raking her fingers through her hair and casting a glance around the shop. She's buying time and it's making Jared more nervous than he's willing to admit. “Look, I don't know, okay? I was talking about how happy you seemed the other night or whatever. Jensen's name came up, ad Dave recognized it. They graduated together, I guess? Anyway, he just said some things that kind of pinged my BFF radar, ya know?”

“I really don't know, Gen. You're gonna have to be more specific.”

Jensen has alluded to mistakes in his past a couple of times, but the idea of Genevieve discussing those mistakes with some guy Jared's never met doesn't sit well with him. Jensen's never even talked about any of them with him, so Jared has no interest in believing some random guy he doesn't know about them. He doesn't want to hate the first guy Genevieve's been into in the last couple of years, but he's having a hard time liking this Dave character right now.

She reaches her hands forward like she's waiting for Jared to meet her in the middle, the expression in her eyes pained. “It's really not my place to tell you this stuff, okay?”

Jared doesn't blow his cool often, especially not with Genevieve, but he can feel his control slipping. “Not really Dave's place, either, was it?”

“He didn't mean anything by it,” she says, tone pleading with him to just let her off the hook. When Jared doesn't move, she retracts her hands and hitches her purse over her shoulder. “Just. He said Jensen kind of has this reputation back home. He's not the kind of guy you trust with anything important to you.”

She knows more than she's saying, being purposely vague, and it doesn't really calm Jared down at all. “I trust him,” he insists firmly.

Genevieve goes for his soft spot, pouting her bottom lip as she comes around the counter to wrap her arms around his stomach and rest her chin on his bicep. Like usual, Jared loosens his stance a little bit to sling his arm over her shoulder. “Ask him about it. See what he has to say.” She squeezes him tighter. “You're pretty fucking important to me, Gigantor. I wanna be able to trust him with you.”

To this point, he and Jensen have operated under an unspoken don't ask/don't tell policy. Jared likes the guy Jensen is now, so he's not even sure that his past matters. He wants to believe that the truth is just best left behind them.

A Tangled Web
Tangle

Aside from loving art, setting his own schedule is probably Jensen's favorite thing about his career. There's a freedom in being able to work when he's inspired, play when he feels like it, and sleep for as long as he needs to that he really loves.

He didn't realize how much he appreciated the sleep part until he started dating Jared. Six weeks ago, if you'd told him he'd be getting out of bed at four thirty in the morning to shower with the same guy he's been sleeping with for a month and a half, he would have laughed for many reasons. 'Getting up before the sun' would have been pretty high on that list of reasons.

When he lifts his head from the pillow, it's five fifteen and he can hear Jared moving around in the kitchen. It's weird, but he's a little disappointed that Jared didn't wake him up this morning. It's the first time since they started spending nights together that Jared has let him sleep in, but he tells himself that it doesn't mean anything. It has nothing to do with the way Jared kept looking at him like he was trying to say something last night and just couldn't find the words.

He rolls toward the center of the bed, fully intent on finding a little more sleep, when he hears Jared's phone ring in the other room. The side of the conversation Jensen can hear doesn't give much away, but Jared is smiling when he walks back into the bedroom and kicks his shoes off in the doorway.

“So, Sandy has to take her dog to the vet this afternoon,” he announces.

As far as random statements Jensen never expected to hear go, that one might top the list. “Good morning to you, too,” he grumbles and turns over to blink against the overhead light.

Jared huffs a laugh as he strips his shirt over his head and climbs back onto the bed. “We're switching shifts. I don't have to go in until two now.”

Jensen is not, under any circumstances he can remember, a cuddler. In fact, he's perfectly fine with not being touched while he's sleeping. It's a little chilly this morning, though, and Jared is radiating heat just a few inches away. Also, he smells shower-fresh and Jensen is still half-asleep, so maybe they can just overlook the way he twists around and burrows his forehead against Jared's arm. If his arm falls over Jared's chest and their legs end up all tangled together, they can ignore that, too.

Rolling toward him, Jared sighs against Jensen's head. “I know it's early and everything,” he says, voice a little more tentative than Jensen is used to hearing from him. “I kinda wanted to, uh, ask you about somethin', though.”

“We're not getting married,” Jensen mumbles into Jared's chest, too distracted with wondering why they don't do this more often to worry about what Jared has to say.

He can feel Jared relax a little bit, wrapping an arm around his side as he settles a little bit further into the sheets. “Nah, I just, um, I don't know if you're gonna wanna answer. It's totally okay if you don't or whatever.”

Blinking, Jensen pulls back just enough to see Jared's face. “Just ask me, man.”

Jared releases a deep breath. His smile is too tight and it scares Jensen just a little. “Okay. So there's this guy, Dave, and I guess he graduated from your high school or whatever.”

Jensen's stomach sinks to his toes, but he tries to play it off. No question about someone he went to high school with can end well. “Okay.” He tries to extricate himself from their mess of limbs, but Jared just bends his knee and locks Jensen in close.

It makes him feel a little bit better when Jared forces a laugh. “Yeah, and I guess he told Genevieve that he knew you, so now she's all nervous that you're gonna con me out of my life savings or something.” He rolls his eyes like it's ridiculous, but Jensen can tell that he's more nervous about the possibility than he wants to admit.

“Well, you're not a little old lady,” he forces a smile and stretches his body as much as he can against Jared's. “I think your money is safe.”

“Funny.” He sounds the furthest thing from amused.

Jensen's pretty honest about who he is now, but he'd be fine with never revisiting who he used to be. He rolls onto his back – Jared follows, draped over his side – and blinks at the ceiling. “Look, man, I've fucked some people over in my time. I'm not proud of it or anything, but my ego used to kind of run away from me sometimes. I wasn't.” He needs to look at Jared, but can't bring himself to turn his face. “I don't do that shit anymore.”

Jared has every right to ask him to elaborate. Instead, he squeezes Jensen's hip and Jensen can feel Jared's tension melt. “That's all I need to know, man.”

It's not. “I've run from this shit for a long time, but I'll tell you whatever you wanna know.”

Disentangling himself, Jared sits up on the bed and shovels his hair away from his face. “Why? If it's not who you are now, then it doesn't really matter to me, Jensen.”

Katie's right when she says Jared is the best thing that's ever happened to him. If Jensen fucks it up, he only has himself to blame; he blames himself for enough already. “Your best friend's dating a guy who obviously thinks he knows me. Guess I'd rather you hear it from me than some guy I haven't talked to in seven years.”

“Alright,” Jared nods, easing off the end of the bed. “I'll make the coffee.”

One of the Bad Guys
Promise

“I just want to state, for the record, that you do not have to tell me anything.” Jared balances two mugs of dark-roast, along with a couple packages of Pop-Tarts, as he comes into the living room. He offers half of his haul to Jensen, who is sitting on the couch, looking like he’s about to chew through his own lip. “It’s not going to change anything for me.”

It’s getting a little ridiculous, the way they’re dragging this out. Jared knows that it’s hard for Jensen to talk about, but at this point anything short of prostitution is going to be a let down.

Scooting a little closer on the couch, he waits for Jensen to look at him. When he does, he asks, “Jensen, did you once kill a man just to watch him die?” Jensen looks back to the window, but Jared can see that he’s smiling a little bit. “Then fuckin’ tell me all about your sordid past, or let's go back to bed.” He doesn’t want to sound like he doesn’t care, but at this point, Jared doesn’t really fucking care.

“Alright, fine. Jesus Christ, whatever happened to being supportive of your boyfriend?”

It’s the first time either of them has ever used the word, and it kind of makes Jared want to smile like a giddy little kid. Instead, he settles back on the couch and asks, “You want me to hold your hand or what?”

“I want you to shut the fuck up and listen for a second, smart ass,” Jensen shoots back, but he’s laughing as he turns and leans against the arm of the couch. “Jesus, a guy tries to establish a platform of honesty on which to build a healthy and thriving relationship.”

Jared snorts in the middle of the sentence and Jensen rolls his eyes with a grin that says he doesn’t know why he likes this guy when he’s such an enormous dork. Jared figures whatever secrets Jensen is sitting on can’t be so bad if he’s willing to joke around about them.

They fall into silence, both drinking their coffee and staring at the shifting lights as day begins to break. Jared can’t speak; Jensen has to make the next move here.

“I remember a couple of Daves from high school. Far as I know, I didn’t do anything to any of them personally, but he’s not wrong. I told you pride gets me in trouble a lot, ya know? Most of the shit I’ve done comes down to me wanting what I want, when I want it.”

“Lot of people are like that, though.” Jared’s making excuses, but that doesn’t mean that what he’s saying isn’t true. Everybody’s selfish sometimes.

“Lot of people don’t do damn near anything to get it, though.” Shaking his head, Jensen tilts his head back and drains his coffee cup before setting it on the floor and linking his hands behind his head. “I had this college professor this one time – cocky son of a bitch – who let me blow him instead of taking his ridiculously impossible pop quizzes, right? Got me outta havin’ to go to the class, and I like suckin’ dick, so why not get somethin’ out of it?”

Jared would point out that Jensen wouldn’t be the first guy in history to sleep with a professor for a grade, but he figures Jensen knows that already. Instead, he just bumps Jensen’s shoulder with his own and goes on listening.

“Final grades go up, and guess who failed the class?” Jensen just shakes his head. “I went to see him about it, reminded him that we had a deal, and he blew me off like he had no idea what I was talkin’ about.” He catches Jared’s eye for a second, and then looks away again. “So I outed him to his wife, and forwarded all the dirty e-mails he used to send me to the entire student body.” Meeting Jared’s eye again, he shakes his head like he can’t believe himself. “I ruined a man’s marriage and his career because he wouldn’t give me the grade I wanted in his stupid class.”

With a shrug, Jared stands up and holds out a hand. “You want more coffee?”

Jensen grabs his cup and follows Jared to the kitchen. “Recorded sex with a closeted triple A ball player once,” he says, hopping onto the counter and resting his head against the cabinets. “Sent it to a few of his teammates and threatened to hand a copy over to the papers.”

Handing him the refill, Jared sips at his own and asks, “Why’d you do that one?”

“I don’t even remember.” Fixing his gaze on the light figure, Jensen’s face falls. “I’m sure I thought I had a good reason for it, though. Always seemed like a good reason at the time.” Turning his face toward Jared, he says, “I’m not a good guy, Jay. I mean, I don’t do shit like that now, but at some point it doesn’t really matter anymore, does it? I mean, you can’t balance karma like that, man.”

Jensen’s not nearly the smooth criminal that he thinks he is, though. Stepping in between his spread knees, Jared grips the back of his neck with both hands. “Stop,” he commands, voice a little more firm than he intended. “I’m not goin’ anywhere. You’re not gonna scare me off. Just stop it.”

Lazily grin spreading over his lips, Jensen says, “You might wanna hold off on the promise rings until you hear the worst of it.”

Leading Jensen forward by the scruff of his neck, Jared sucks slowly on Jensen’s lips until he feels fingers dig into his hips. Against Jensen’s mouth, he says, “No more.” He kisses him again, quicker this time. “You and me. That’s all.”

Years in the Making
Laughter

Jensen is not still in high school. There is no reason that he should be standing in an alley behind a bar, waiting to get punched in the head. When the alternative is standing in the bar, getting punched while of his friends and boyfriend look on, he figures this is the lesser of two evils.

“You never were a very graceful drunk,” Jensen prods.

Hovering near the back entrance, Chris Kane rakes his fingers through his hair and laughs, almost like this is fun for him. In a lot of ways, Jensen figures it probably is. He's been waiting for this chance for a long damn time now. “You wanna get this shit over with?”

Scrubbing his hands over his face, Jensen rolls his shoulders a few times and nods. “Better late than never, huh?”

It's almost like an old Western, and if Chris is anything like he was back in high school, he planned it this way. Cracking his knuckles, he shakes his head and laughs again. “Well, alright then. Let's end this thing.”

Two hours ago, he and Jared walked into the bar where Genevieve works. It was an interview of sorts, though Jared wouldn't admit it. Jensen was nervous, but he held it together okay and Genevieve wasn't overtly hostile or anything. It's pretty obvious that Jensen's going to have to earn her trust, but he's okay with that. As long as Jared's willing to give him the time, then Jensen's going to figure out a way to make it work.

Misha showed up with Ian and Katie about an hour in, congregating around the bar so Genevieve could get in on the dirt-dishing. Jensen still doesn't know if his friends or Jared's managed to share more embarrassing stories, but it was fun. They were having a good time.

Jensen was leaned back in his chair, fingers idly playing with the hair at the base of Jared's neck, and Jared kept shooting him these looks that made him want to ditch this place and just drag him home. Before he could, things took a decidedly disconcerting turn.

It's been years since Jensen saw Chris, let alone talked to him, but Jensen had no trouble discerning his raucous laughter before his shadow ever fell over the table. Ian, Misha, and Katie tensed, Jared looked really confused, and Genevieve seemed poised to kick them all out of the bar at the first sign of trouble.

For a long time, Chris just looked at him – from his face, to his hand on Jared's neck and back again – expression wary, like he was seeing a ghost or something. “Long time, no see, Jensen.”

That's all he had said, but Jensen knew what it meant. “Too long,” had been his response. It meant a hell of a lot more than anyone at that table knew.

Without another word, Jensen pushed his chair out and lead the way out of the bar.

Now that he thinks about it, that was probably a stupid thing to do. Jared has a lot of muscles; it would probably be good to have him here right now. Even though he knows Jared can't be a part of this, it doesn't stop him from wishing that he could.

Spreading his arms, Jensen invites the beat down he knows he deserves. In a way, he kind of wants it. It feels like closure, maybe a little like absolution.

That's not to say it's an enjoyable experience, getting punched in the jaw so hard that he thinks something might have cracked. The blood from his split lip doesn't taste so great, either. The way his head bounces off the concrete wall isn't the most awesome feeling he's ever had and he knows he's going to be feeling this one for a few days.

Still, when he blinks against the pain and manages to bring his vision back into focus, the first thing he sees is Chris's face looming close, smile stretched from ear to ear.

Jensen accepts the hand Chris is offering and spits a mouthful of blood to the ground. “We good?”

With another booming laugh, Chris wraps his arm around Jensen's shoulder and pulls him into a long hug that probably wouldn't have hurt so bad before he tried to knock Jensen's teeth down his throat. “Missed you, man,” he chuckles against the side of Jensen's head before releasing him to get a good look.

That's about the time Jared comes crashing out the back door, calling Jensen's name. “Man, you out,” he stops short, mouth gaping a little as he takes in the scene. “What the hell is goin' on?”

His hands are balled into fists at his sides, so Jensen shakes his head. “It's fine, Jay,” he assures, but when he tries to smile, it feels like his face is on fire.

“You should probably take him home and clean him up a little, alright?” He pats Jared's shoulder as he walks by, and he doesn't turn around when he adds, “You better fuckin' call me, Ackles.”

When he's gone, Jared looks at Jensen with a mixture of concern and indignation. “What the fuck was that?” he demands.

Well aware that he looks completely insane, Jensen leans back against the wall and touches his finger to the open wound on his lip with a wince. “Resolution,” he answers, feeling lighter than he has in years.

Part 3