raeschae: (Jensen - Coffee)
raeschae ([personal profile] raeschae) wrote2011-02-16 11:50 am

You're Extremely Hot (a J2 AU)

Title: You're Extremely Hot
Pairing: J2
Rating: PG-13
Word Count: 1500

Summary: Jared is smooth and subtle while Jensen's brain-to-mouth filter seems to be broken. Coffee, awkwardness, and excessive IMing ensue.

Notes: When [livejournal.com profile] dugindeep sent me this link from postsecrets, I said, "You should write this!" Her response was, "NO U." I TRIED TO RESIST, HONEST! It got all up in my brain, and this is what fell out. (Also, completely unbeta'd, so if you find glaring errors, let me know.)

There are so many strikes against weekly department meetings that Jensen doesn't bother counting them anymore. In the middle of the week, the last thing he wants or needs is to crowd around a conference room table with seven other grouchy people, wasting an hour talking about projects instead of actually doing them. His habit of perpetually oversleeping keeps him from stopping for coffee on way to the office, which certainly doesn't help his shiny disposition.

“Where is everybody?” Jensen asks, irrationally paranoid when he's the first one into the conference room for this week's meeting. He's never first. “Did I miss a memo?”

The CEO's assistant, Jared, looks up from his desk across the hall and smiles, eyes puffy with remnants of sleep he hasn't managed to shake off just yet. Something about that makes Jensen feel a little bit better.

“I guess they're just running behind,” Jared assures him, pushing a white cup across the desk. “Coffee?”

Shamelessly, Jensen crosses the hall and grabs the cup in both hands. He didn't realize how much he liked his coffee with cream and two sugars until Jared started bringing it to him this way a couple of months ago. Maybe it should be disconcerting that a relative stranger knows Jensen's taste buds better than Jensen does, but he's too busy enjoying his coffee to be bothered by it.

Jared watches him take a couple of healthy gulps, trademark grin stretched thin until it breaks with a yawn. He leans forward, pressing the heel of his hand against his eye while he chuckles at himself. “Dude, I'm so tired,” he says, shaking his head as he fixes his eyes on his computer screen.

“Rough night?” Jensen asks with a smirk, enjoying the way Jared's neck and cheeks flush. “Ah. Good night, then.”

Brow furrowing, Jared clicks his mouse and says, “Oh, um, Mark just canceled this week's meeting,” he says, eyes scanning the screen. “Looks like Danneel has the flu, Misha and Jim are stuck on a conference call, and Adrienne's girlfriend went into labor a few minutes ago.” His eyes dart over the top of the monitor and then back. “So I guess you're off the hook this morning.”

“Oh,” Jensen responds, blinking quickly and taking another drink when he realizes he's been staring at Jared a little too long to be considered professional. “Okay then,” he stammers a little. “I guess I'll just get some work done.”

Jared looks up like he's going to say something, but his phone rings. “I'll see ya later, Jensen,” he dismisses as he taps his headset to answer the call.

It's weird; Jensen hates the weekly staff meeting and yet, when he gets back to his office and slumps into his chair, wheels rolling against the floor, he feels strangely disappointed. He plans his week around that stupid meeting, sitting at that table and listening to everyone debate issues instead of fixing them, drinking his coffee from Jared and letting himself drift away from the monotony while he thinks about that blinding smile and the dimples that somehow still manage to catch Jensen off guard, even after months of seeing Jared every day.

He sets his coffee cup on his desk, blankly staring at it as he zones out and wonders what exactly Jared did last night that made him look so uncharacteristically disheveled and worn out this morning. Even though he knows he shouldn't, he lets his mind drift to a place where Jared picked some hot little twink up at a bar and took him home, where he spread the guy out on his bed – the sheets are dark and soft in Jensen's mind – and licked his pale body until the guy was writhing and begging. Apparently, Jensen's imaginary Jared is not the bustling assistant but the assertive CEO of his own bedroom.

It's also possible that Jensen has been watching too much porn before bed as of late and he huffs an awkward chuckle as he rolls his chair up to his desk. He really should use this opportunity to get some actual work done instead of perving on his boss's assistant like some kind of creepy creeper.

When he lays his fingers against the keyboard, Jensen notices a smear of black ink against the side of his thumb. Weird. He hasn't even used a pen today, hasn't had time to write anything yet. Casting a glance around his desk, he notices another smudge at the bottom of his coffee cup.

His heart hammers against his chest when he focuses on the words crossed out there; more importantly, at the words left untouched.

Careful, the beverage you're about to enjoy is extremely hot.

For a long time, Jensen just sits there, staring. What he wants to do is run down to Jared's office, drag him out of his chair, shove him against the wall, and stuff a hand down his pants. It would seem, however, that Jared is into a more subtle form of a flirtation, one that won't get them both fired.

The problem is that, as clever as Jensen thinks he is, he's not sure how to respond. Jared is a nice guy. It's entirely possible that this is just his way of complimenting the tie Jensen chose to wear this morning or something. He really doesn't want to embarrass himself by sending a someecard that says something brilliant and witty – So, should we get it on … or should I get you off? - if Jared is just being his usual, charming self.

The two hours he would have spent in the staff meeting fly by as Jensen scours the internet for ways to let Jared know that he, too, is extremely hot. Nothing is as perfect as Jared's way of saying it.

Frustrated, Jensen opens an IM window and quickly shoots a message to Jason, who has always been better with romantic shit than Jensen will ever be.

Need to come up with a creative, clever way to tell someone I think they're smokin' hot and I'd like to get to know them better. And by better I mean naked. Without a sexual harrassment charge. Ideas?

He manages to open a spreadsheet before the response pings back. When Jensen opens the IM window, his heart sinks to his toes.

I'm pretty sure you didn't mean to send this to me.

Until now, Jensen never really paid attention to how close Jared and Jason are on his contacts list.

Another message pops up while his hands are still too paralyzed to respond.

Some advice anyway? In my personal experience, creative and clever don't work so well. If you want someone to know you're interested, you probably shouldn't waste two months trying to send him messages on coffee cups or something. Just tell him.

Two months. Jared has been sending Jensen messages for two months and he just noticed? Clearly, Jensen is an oblivious tool.

This theory is proven when his fingers start moving over the keyboard, seemingly independent of his brain.

I can't stop thinking about you getting laid last night.

What? Jensen thunks his head against his desk when he re-reads his interpretation of just telling him.

When Jared doesn't respond for three minutes, Jensen starts typing an e-mail to HR, informing them that he's taking a sick day. He's contemplating how to word his resignation when Jared finally messages him back.

I actually spent most of the night online, trying to find more creative ways to flirt with you. The coffee cup thing came from postsecrets awhile back. But feel free to imagine me getting laid any time. ;)

Jensen laughs loud enough to make Aldis pop up over the top of his cubicle with a questioning eyebrow raise. Waving him off, Jensen quickly types another message and throws a glance at the clock in the corner of his screen. He really does need to get some work done, but right now, he just doesn't care.

Do you wanna grab some lunch?

He's holding his breath when Jared's response comes a few seconds later.

Sure. You should know you're more likely to get to know me better naked if you spring for dinner, though.

Jensen's throat squeezes tight, his cheeks flushing hot when he reads the words. There are a million words he would like to throw back at Jared right now, but on the company IM, they would all get him fired.

He settles for something more innocuous.

How about both?

Jared replies instantly.

Sounds good. We should probably get some work done now.

Nodding until he realizes Jared can't see him, Jensen signs out and closes the window, determined to get something productive done. When his eyes fall on the coffee cup, the lines still teasing him playfully, he has to concede that the only thing on his brain agenda today is Jared. Surprisingly, he finds that he's okay with that.

[identity profile] zuben-eschamali.livejournal.com 2011-02-16 04:55 pm (UTC)(link)
Until now, Jensen never really paid attention to how close Jared and Jason are on his contacts list.

Bwa-ha-ha! Good thing it all worked out for the best.

Also, it's nice to know that you are equally susceptible to nagging encouragement. Which means you should go write about their lunch date.

[identity profile] raeschae.livejournal.com 2011-02-16 04:57 pm (UTC)(link)

Crap. Now I totally want to and I need to get ready for work. Damn your enabling!

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[identity profile] without-me.livejournal.com 2011-02-16 04:55 pm (UTC)(link)
Oh, this was exactly what I needed this morning (at work). Thank you!

[identity profile] raeschae.livejournal.com 2011-02-16 04:58 pm (UTC)(link)
You're welcome! Haha. I'm glad you liked it!!!

[identity profile] comet91.livejournal.com 2011-02-16 05:03 pm (UTC)(link)
Just what i needed to cheer me up :)

[identity profile] raeschae.livejournal.com 2011-02-16 05:06 pm (UTC)(link)
Awww. I'm sorry you're down, but I'm glad I could help with a smile!

[identity profile] mizface.livejournal.com 2011-02-16 05:07 pm (UTC)(link)
Oh, yay, this! SO cute, and I actually squealed when you mentioned someecards (which I maybe send a lot, awesomely inappropriate things that they are).

Thank you for making me smile!

[identity profile] raeschae.livejournal.com 2011-02-16 05:09 pm (UTC)(link)
I spend way too much time on someecards, too! And textsfromlastnight. They eat my life!

Thank YOU for reading - I'm glad it made you smile!!

[identity profile] dugindeep.livejournal.com 2011-02-16 05:11 pm (UTC)(link)
OMG IT'S LIKE YOU WROTE A STORY ABOUT MY LIFE. Except there is no Jared or Jensen on the other end of my IMs :(

BUT ANYWAY! I love this. I'm smiling so effing hard, which is exactly what I needed after these last few weeks. Jensen being crabby about having to sit through meetings! People not showing up! Being pissed when those meetings are canceled! It's now trufax that I am Jensen. Or fanon!Jensen is me. Or something.

You reeeeeeally need to write about lunch or dinner or BOTH! Please and thank you in advance :-D I'M EVEN USING OUR FAVORITE DUCKYJENSEN!
Edited 2011-02-16 17:11 (UTC)

[identity profile] raeschae.livejournal.com 2011-02-16 05:54 pm (UTC)(link)
Except there is no Jared or Jensen on the other end of my IMs
- No, but there is a me. You take what you can get, lady!

The duck lips are dirty, dirty pool, man.

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[identity profile] strangeallure.livejournal.com 2011-02-16 05:11 pm (UTC)(link)
Awww. Really cute.

[identity profile] raeschae.livejournal.com 2011-02-16 05:54 pm (UTC)(link)

[identity profile] taintedlove.livejournal.com 2011-02-16 05:19 pm (UTC)(link)
I live in constant fear that that will happen to me. I have two Jessicas in my phone, one of which is [livejournal.com profile] lesson_in_love and the other is a girl I know from church. I'm just waiting for the day the girl from church gets my "LET'S TALK ABOUT GAY ASS SEX" text and never speaks to me again. :P

On the real, though, THIS. I LOVE IT. BE adorable and awkward always, Jensen. ♥

[identity profile] raeschae.livejournal.com 2011-02-16 05:56 pm (UTC)(link)
I live in constant fear that that will happen to me. You and me both, bb! Mine is a different name, but one is my sister and the other, I tend to send not very sisterly messages to. Can you imagine? I WOULD DIE A THOUSAND TIMES!

[identity profile] equally-dour.livejournal.com 2011-02-16 05:20 pm (UTC)(link)
Office flirting FTW! That was adorable. :)

[identity profile] raeschae.livejournal.com 2011-02-16 05:56 pm (UTC)(link)
\o/ So glad you liked it! I'm a big fan of this trope.

[identity profile] jesseofthenorth.livejournal.com 2011-02-16 05:27 pm (UTC)(link)
What he wants to do is run down to Jared's office, drag him out of his chair, shove him against the wall, and stuff a hand down his pants. probably would have worked and only been slightly less awkward this 'I'm pretty sure you didn't mean to send this to me.' Until now, Jensen never really paid attention to how close Jared and Jason are on his contacts list.

Which would be exactly when i sprayed MY coffee all over my freshly tidied laptop. So thanks for that!
Edited 2011-02-16 17:27 (UTC)

[identity profile] akadougal.livejournal.com 2011-02-16 05:30 pm (UTC)(link)
So sweet!

[identity profile] raeschae.livejournal.com 2011-02-16 06:02 pm (UTC)(link)
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[identity profile] big-heart-june.livejournal.com 2011-02-16 05:30 pm (UTC)(link)
Thank god for Amy! *grins* Oh man, you have a way with words! this is just made of sparkly awesome! Crabby!clueless!Jensen! I LOVE HIM SOOOOOOOO MUCH! Also, this! I'm pretty sure you didn't mean to send this to me. - I just sat here gasping and lmfao! oh MAN, JENNNNNNNNNSEN. :DDDD

Thanks for such an entertaining gorgeous read! it'll totally be contd, y/y? :D

[identity profile] raeschae.livejournal.com 2011-02-16 06:06 pm (UTC)(link)
Crabby!clueless!Jensen! I LOVE HIM SOOOOOOOO MUCH!
- ME TOO! He is my second favorite Jensen, next to cocky, slutty Jensen. :D

I'm so glad you liked this!

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[identity profile] aythia.livejournal.com 2011-02-16 05:33 pm (UTC)(link)
So...you do realize we will nag for more, right? I mean, I'm assuming you're taking that for granted considering you left them with...you know...clothes on!

Also, I love this Jensen! So damn cute :D And Jared? Adorable! *squee*

[identity profile] raeschae.livejournal.com 2011-02-16 06:53 pm (UTC)(link)
I'm so glad you liked this version!

Sometimes fun can be still be had with your clothes on, or so I've been told. ;)

[identity profile] one-2-3-4.livejournal.com 2011-02-16 06:02 pm (UTC)(link)
Love this! Haha, if only things liked this happened in real life. :-)

[identity profile] raeschae.livejournal.com 2011-02-16 06:56 pm (UTC)(link)
Right? Although, I don't think I'd be very flattered if it happened where I work now. :(

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[identity profile] rozabellalove.livejournal.com 2011-02-16 06:16 pm (UTC)(link)
sitting at that table and listening to everyone debate issues instead of fixing them Lol - so Jensen has those meetings too eh? I can tell you've been to a few as well!

Jensen scours the internet for ways to let Jared know that he, too, is extremely hot Bwah ha ha ha!! Good to know Jensen is as dependent on Google as me!

Clearly, Jensen is an oblivious tool. It's a good job he's incredibly hot then isn't it?!

You're funny (in a good way)
This was awesome :D

[identity profile] raeschae.livejournal.com 2011-02-16 06:59 pm (UTC)(link)
Hahaha. Thanks!

I've gotta be honest - Jensen scouring the internet was just what I was doing, trying to find a way for him to look more creative than I am. :)

[identity profile] callistosh65.livejournal.com 2011-02-16 06:59 pm (UTC)(link)
That was adorable! Just the warm, feelgood fic I needed after a long day. Thank you:))

[identity profile] raeschae.livejournal.com 2011-02-16 07:07 pm (UTC)(link)
Awesome! I'm glad it capped your day!
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[identity profile] meesasometimes.livejournal.com 2011-02-16 07:01 pm (UTC)(link)
I see there are enough people nagging for the sequals..
I'll just sit back and wait patiently.:)

[identity profile] raeschae.livejournal.com 2011-02-16 07:07 pm (UTC)(link)
Hahaha. Thank you!
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[identity profile] velvetine01.livejournal.com 2011-02-16 07:08 pm (UTC)(link)
asdfghjk ADORABLE! I love it. :DDD

[identity profile] raeschae.livejournal.com 2011-02-16 09:15 pm (UTC)(link)
YAY! :D Thank you!

[identity profile] scintilla10.livejournal.com 2011-02-16 07:43 pm (UTC)(link)
Hee, this was adorable. :DD

[identity profile] raeschae.livejournal.com 2011-02-16 09:16 pm (UTC)(link)
:D Thank you!

[identity profile] amindaya.livejournal.com 2011-02-16 07:57 pm (UTC)(link)
This was adorable and I adored it. Oh yes.

I can just imagine Jared crossing out those unecessary words like routine, wondering if Jensen will ever notice. Oh Jared. How so subtle? How so adorbs?

[identity profile] raeschae.livejournal.com 2011-02-16 09:17 pm (UTC)(link)
Aww, Jared! With his bottom lip caught between his teeth, being all meticulous and clever and adorable. *sigh*

I'm really glad you liked it! Thank you!

[identity profile] gemini8.livejournal.com 2011-02-16 08:12 pm (UTC)(link)
They are so cute!
Thank you :)

[identity profile] raeschae.livejournal.com 2011-02-16 09:19 pm (UTC)(link)
Thank YOU!

[identity profile] dr-ducktator.livejournal.com 2011-02-16 08:32 pm (UTC)(link)
This delighted the hell out of me. I'm hoping for more. More? Please? Charming. It's all so charming and funny! YAY!

[identity profile] raeschae.livejournal.com 2011-02-16 09:19 pm (UTC)(link)
Your vote of 'more' has been counted. I'M NOT GOOD WITH PEER PRESSURE!

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[identity profile] katiebugs18.livejournal.com 2011-02-16 08:32 pm (UTC)(link)
YEAH!!! So cute. Perfect afternoon pick-me-up. :)

[identity profile] raeschae.livejournal.com 2011-02-16 09:23 pm (UTC)(link)
Thank you! Glad I could make your day a little brighter!

[identity profile] blondie-lottie.livejournal.com 2011-02-16 09:31 pm (UTC)(link)
OMG! This is adorably perfect. XD

[identity profile] raeschae.livejournal.com 2011-02-16 10:56 pm (UTC)(link)
Thank you!!!!

[identity profile] mistyzeo.livejournal.com 2011-02-16 10:39 pm (UTC)(link)
:DDDDDDDDDDD <- my stupid face at this glorious fic

[identity profile] raeschae.livejournal.com 2011-02-16 10:56 pm (UTC)(link)
N'awwww. I love your stupid face! Er, that came out wrong. :DDDDD

[identity profile] raeschae.livejournal.com 2011-02-17 04:53 am (UTC)(link)
\o/ YAY!

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