raeschae: (CODA - Red)
[personal profile] raeschae




This fic was inspired by three novels that I read last fall - The Alternative Hero (Tim Thornton), Love Will Tear Us Apart (Sarah Rainone), and Juliet, Naked (Nick Hornby) – and while you won't find this exact plot in any of them, I highly recommend all three.

Also, you might want to check out John Cusack as the Chicago-based audiophile Rob Gordon in the film adaptation of Nick Hornby's novel, High Fidelity. I guess repeated viewings of the movie have saturated my subconscious over the last ten years because I really didn't give it a passing thought while writing the fic. When I was done and [livejournal.com profile] maichan808 sent me the first draft of the art, I had a total holy shit moment. The similarities between Jensen and Rob are completely unintentional but, at times, too obvious to deny.

Also, some of the artists and bands that I use in this fic exist in the real world, but many of them are completely fictional. Those you have never heard of, and can't find through Google, are the brain child of [livejournal.com profile] taintedlove. All of the albums reviewed on the Coda website were also on her original list of band names.

My first Big Bang has been an incredible – albeit, at times, ridiculously nerve-wracking – experience. Aside from the normal anxious excitement of actually taking part in this challenge, my computer crashed last night around 10:30. Were it not for my very best friend in the world - she's not in fandom and will never see this, but I'm grateful nonetheless - I'm not sure I would have been able to get this posted at all.

There are a lot of people that I have to thank:

[livejournal.com profile] maichan808, you have gone so far above and beyond the call of duty for this fic, I don't even know how to say thank you. At the risk of stroking your already insanely over-inflated ego, working with you on the Coda website was the best part of this entire process for me. Thank you for the mind-blowing art, and also for keeping me calm during last night's freak out and being an all-around awesome person. I owe you something major, like an internal organ or something, I'm sure.

[livejournal.com profile] billysgirl5 and [livejournal.com profile] candygramme, thank you, for correcting my occasional abuse of the English language, and for lightning-quick turn around. You guys are life-savers! [livejournal.com profile] krisd81, thanks for being brutally honest with my first draft, and for making sure that I told both sides of the story.

[livejournal.com profile] ldyghstwhisprer and [livejournal.com profile] taintedlove, you guys responded to my pleas for musical inspiration with three very different, but equally awesome, soundtracks. I hope you both know how much the tone and shape of this story were molded by the songs you sent me. I wish I could have included all of them on the final soundtrack.

[livejournal.com profile] wendy and [livejournal.com profile] thehighwaywoman, thanks for all you do in organizing and maintaining this challenge.

There are a lot of other people who listened to me ramble about this idea in its infancy, and who encouraged me from the early drafts, through all of the edits. To my flist, your excitement over this fic has really helped to ease my frazzled nerves during the last six months. Thanks, guys - I hope you enjoy it!
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Date: 2010-07-15 06:17 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] maichan808.livejournal.com
I'm good on internal organs, but I'll take more ego stroking any day!

It's been completely incredible working with you as well. I just love it when people do my bidding :P

And man, I really do <3 this fic. LIKE FOR SRS <333

Date: 2010-07-15 09:39 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] raeschae.livejournal.com
I hear the basis of any good working relationship is when one is bossy and anal-retentive and the other doesn't quite know when to tell them to just fuck off. No wonder we made a good team.

If there is one person I know won't just tell me shit because they think I want to hear it, it's you. It's kind of what I love about you!

Date: 2010-07-15 06:41 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] yamisadomazo.livejournal.com
This fic. Was. AMAZING.

Obviously you have a passion for music, and the way you translated that into Jensen's character was incredible.

The change and growth in the boys' relationship was so realistic that it just kind of made me go 'awwwww'. Especially the lighter scene at the end.

Also, I LOVE Band of Horses. Good choice, I must say. ^_^

Date: 2010-07-15 09:42 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] raeschae.livejournal.com
Band of Horses \o/

And thank you - I'm so glad that you liked the story! I do love music, and it's cool to know you think it translated. :)

Date: 2010-07-15 06:50 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] zuben-eschamali.livejournal.com
Definitely worth the wait...this was awesome. I love how they both grew and changed over time, and I especially loved how the (hot!) sex reflected that, from overwhelming and exciting to awkward to honest and mature. It was a great moment when they realized they missed each other as friends, too, and the way you built that back up was great. And for bonus points, you made both of them as music critics come off not as pretentious douchenozzles but as people who really, genuinely care about and love music. So, yay! :D

Date: 2010-07-15 09:43 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] raeschae.livejournal.com
Wow - thanks! I know that stories like this have real potential to come off pretentious and kind of self-indulgent, so I'm really glad it didn't read that way to you. :)

Date: 2010-07-15 07:06 pm (UTC)
ext_302153: (jensen eyes)
From: [identity profile] live-laugh-love.livejournal.com
Wow. This is just....amazing. I loved the layers of the story and how it went back and forth in time. You really portrayed the friendship as well as the love and my GOD is that ever one of my kinks. I am so astounded by the way you are able to shift things up and write different J2 each and every time, yet keep the personality nuances there enough to recognize them. (that sentence was really poorly constructed but hopefully you get the drift)

LOVED IT.

Date: 2010-07-15 09:45 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] raeschae.livejournal.com
I gotcha! And thank you - I kind of have a massive 'bromance'(?) kink, too!

Date: 2010-07-15 07:31 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] pennyplainknits.livejournal.com
This was just wonderful! I loved how we got a sense of how both of them had changed and grown, and the sense of connection was beautifully drawn

Date: 2010-07-15 09:48 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] raeschae.livejournal.com
Thank you so much. I'm really glad you liked it!

Date: 2010-07-15 08:04 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] klutzy-girl.livejournal.com
I loved this so much! It was so good!

Date: 2010-07-15 09:49 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] raeschae.livejournal.com
Thank you!

Date: 2010-07-15 08:32 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] akadougal.livejournal.com
Fantastic. I hope you can be persuaded to write timestamps because, as usual for me, the sign of a really good story is wanting more. I loved the shifts back and forward through the relationship and how much the boys changed and didn't in all the ways that matter. Your secondary characters were a delight too! Just loved it.

Date: 2010-07-15 09:50 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] raeschae.livejournal.com
Wow, thanks!

I love that you want to read more, but I really don't have any plans to write any more of these guys at this time. I kind of like right where they are at the end of the fic. Who knows how inspiration will strike in the future?

Date: 2010-07-15 08:44 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] kubis.livejournal.com
I loved this story! You know, the stories about "the one that got away", missed opportunities and breaking up of the couple that was supposed to be together forever, these stories always get to me. In this one, there wasn't as much pain, but rather slowly getting back together. And I loved the slow building up, how Jared didn't know if he can trust Jensen and how it wasn't just falling back on the same things, but building new things on top of the solid old ones.

I really enjoyed it! :D

Date: 2010-07-15 09:57 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] raeschae.livejournal.com
I'm a huge fan of the slow build, too. Did you read 'In Production' from last year's BB? It's one of my favorites.

Anyway, I'm really glad you liked this one - thank you so much!

Date: 2010-07-15 08:51 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] aythia.livejournal.com
Baby! Oh this was just amazing! And I really loved how you made the music such an important part of their lives, because it really is.. music makes the world go round!

I also loved that you let us get to know both boys, see how they grew back together and not only showing one side of the story.

Thank you!

Date: 2010-07-15 10:02 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] raeschae.livejournal.com
Thanks! I'm so glad you liked the music, and the story. :)

(no subject)

From: [identity profile] mafagafos.livejournal.com - Date: 2010-08-28 12:14 am (UTC) - Expand

(no subject)

From: [identity profile] aythia.livejournal.com - Date: 2010-08-28 04:18 am (UTC) - Expand

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From: [identity profile] raeschae.livejournal.com - Date: 2010-08-28 04:22 am (UTC) - Expand

Date: 2010-07-15 08:52 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] nickgregfan.livejournal.com
LOVES this!!!!!!!

Date: 2010-07-15 10:04 pm (UTC)

Date: 2010-07-15 09:24 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] goldie3.livejournal.com
This was an amazing read. I loved that both guys made mistakes, both guys were assholes at times(who isn't, at times). Thats what made them human. They made mistakes but were ready to take a chance.

And music. Jared and Jensen's relationship is so defined by music, it was wonderful. Loved the love story of Jared, Jensen and music.

Date: 2010-07-15 10:08 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] raeschae.livejournal.com
Thank you so much. (I actually kind of love it when one or both of the guys are assholes in fic on occasion - I guess my kink is showing, huh?)


I'm glad that you loved the music, too - it's such a subjective thing, and I know not everyone is as affected by it as I am, but I love that you connected to it!

Date: 2010-07-15 09:47 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] treez-r-green.livejournal.com
wow I loved this so much!

Date: 2010-07-15 10:08 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] raeschae.livejournal.com
I'm so glad you liked it - that's awesome! Thank you.

Date: 2010-07-15 10:16 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] iluvsockz.livejournal.com
The last paragraph was fantastic.

What I love about fics where J2 are enthusiasts of something such as music is that the enthusiasm of the author always shines through and gives the characters an extra dimension - you have done this here. The story was great and the character development was as well. They made mistakes and there were misunderstandings but it all worked itself out in the end \o/ This was a great story, thanks for sharing :)

Date: 2010-07-15 11:02 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] raeschae.livejournal.com
Thank YOU for commenting! It's awesome that you could feel the passion the guys have for the music in the story - I love that!

Date: 2010-07-15 10:16 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] quasianpride.livejournal.com
Incredible story! Usually I don't read music-fic because it all feels like the authors are trying to shove how ALTERNATIVE and INDIE and ANTICONFORMIST they are down your throat, but I didn't get that from your story.

I love your Jensen, as emotionally damaged as he was, and I was totally rooting for him and Jared the whole time, which also doesn't always happen with fic (somehow?), so props for that one. I do wish that there was more Danneel and Misha, though.

Such great character growth and emotional transformation. I applaud you.

Date: 2010-07-15 11:09 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] raeschae.livejournal.com
Thank you so much for your comment! This type of story totally has the potential to come across as pretentious and annoying, so I know that it's not going to be everyone's cup of tea. I'm really glad that it didn't read that way to you!

And I will readily admit that some of the minor characters in this story got swept under the rug in favor of developing the relationship between the guys. Sorry Danneel and Misha got somewhat overlooked! :)

Date: 2010-07-15 11:43 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] anifsemaj.livejournal.com
yay that was awesome! Love the website, love the story!

Date: 2010-07-15 11:46 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] raeschae.livejournal.com
Thank you so much! (I love the website, too!)

Date: 2010-07-15 11:46 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] quiet000001.livejournal.com
So normally when I like a story, I read it straight through. When I keep doing other things mid-story, it's because I'm getting bored.

With this one, I kept going off to do other things for a bit so reading it would last LONGER.

And now I finished it anyway. Foo.

Predicted time until I read it again: ~12 hours. (And only because I've gotta sleep somewhere in there too.)

Please insert here whatever requests/begging/pleading for further fic in this universe you find least annoying. I kind of want a timestamp (sort of one of those 'after the credits' specials in a movie, you know?) of Thanksgiving. Or how they eventually work out living together.

(Also, bonus points for writing about the Chicago music scene without Pete Wentz sneaking in in any great capacity. He has some kind of ninja skillz for that.)

Date: 2010-07-15 11:56 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] raeschae.livejournal.com
Dude! I totally should have snuck some Jensen/Pete action in there! Ya know what? I can't even really say that with a straight face. Ick.

FOB aside, I'm glad you liked it enough to want more. I went back and forth in writing a Thanksgiving epilogue, but I really like the story where it ends now. I'm not sure I'll be writing any time stamps for this one, but you never know.

(no subject)

From: [identity profile] quiet000001.livejournal.com - Date: 2010-07-16 12:08 am (UTC) - Expand

Date: 2010-07-15 11:47 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] alteredloc.livejournal.com
I really, really enjoyed this. It felt so real.

Thanks so much for sharing!

Date: 2010-07-15 11:57 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] raeschae.livejournal.com
Thank YOU for reading! I'm really glad you enjoyed it.

Date: 2010-07-16 12:20 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] shenova.livejournal.com
Loved it they got together in the end I loved how you had them be friends get back the good friendship that they started with previously and then it grew like before brilliant. I love that Jensen left his lighter at Jared's place to show that he would be coming back to collect it no more missing out on being together Jensen is ready to be honest with himself.

Date: 2010-07-16 01:38 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] raeschae.livejournal.com
Thank you so much! That lighter didn't show up in the original draft of the story, but I'm really glad that you made the connection - that's awesome!

Date: 2010-07-16 01:19 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] crazydiamondsue.livejournal.com
I really enjoyed this. I loved how realistic your characterizations were, and how we could see the differences time made in both characters as they grew up and tried to move on. Their college relationship felt authentic, and then the new one they began was very adult and uncertain, the way things are in your mid to late 20s when your career is the thing.

And since I've been both a music snob and a music geek in my time, the musical references, reviews and saturation in this fic was brilliant. I didn't roll my eyes once (says the music snob.) Thanks for a great read.

Date: 2010-07-16 01:37 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] raeschae.livejournal.com
I didn't roll my eyes once (says the music snob.)

Wow - that's an awesome compliment. Thank you so much! I'm so glad that you liked it!!

Date: 2010-07-16 01:33 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] aldehyde.livejournal.com
oh i loved this story! really liked the world you built, the characters, the back-and-forth time jumps and everything else. very nicely done :D

Date: 2010-07-16 01:41 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] raeschae.livejournal.com
It was a fun world to write in, so I'm really glad you enjoyed reading it! Thanks so much!

Date: 2010-07-16 02:01 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] loveisimmortal.livejournal.com
This fic was amazing, I love MUSIC. J2/Music=OTP

I might have cried when Jensen quoted Missy Higgins.

I really loved the flow of the story, intertwining the past and the present. Job well done!

Can't wait for timestamps!

Date: 2010-07-16 03:41 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] raeschae.livejournal.com
Oh god, that Missy Higgins song! I fell in love with the lyrics - thought they matched the story so perfectly - but dammit if it's not a girly, girly song. I'm really glad you liked it! <3

Thank you for your comment - I'm so glad you liked the fic!
Edited Date: 2010-07-17 06:22 am (UTC)

Date: 2010-07-16 03:11 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] bree-black.livejournal.com
Enjoyed this very much. Thanks. <3

Date: 2010-07-16 03:42 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] raeschae.livejournal.com
Thanks! ♥
(deleted comment)

Date: 2010-07-16 03:46 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] raeschae.livejournal.com
Thank you!

I'm really glad that you liked the development of the relationship - that's my favorite part!

Date: 2010-07-16 06:40 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] jesseofthenorth.livejournal.com
Nice Work!
The only reason I am not reading this again immediatly is because I gotta go do stupid shit like dishes and tuck in the kids and maybe sleep.
I love the build up in this, slow but never boring. The pacing was excellent.
Once again you gave us memorably flawed but ultimately decent characters. I love the way these guys are not smooth and glossy, they still have some rough edges.
The way you wove music into this never once slapping us in the face with it was AWESOME! And 'Band of Horses'!
I don't read 'music!fic' but of course I would probably read your grocery list and love it .
Thanks for a stellar read and I wish there were enough hours in a day for me to read this again immediately . Tomorrow will have to do.

Date: 2010-07-16 03:50 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] raeschae.livejournal.com
You could always do what I do and just ignore the other stuff, but I'm thinking it might not be the best idea with the kids and whatnot. :) I'm just glad you liked it enough to want to read it again.

Thank you!

That Band of Horses shout out is getting a lot of love - I was pretty sure nobody would even blink at them. :) I love fandom!

(For the record, I don't make lists because they bore me, so no grocery lists. We'll have to stick with fic for the time being ♥)

Date: 2010-07-16 07:39 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] asitha.livejournal.com
I haven't really been able to sit down and read any big bang fics yet, but when i saw this I just had to stop and read it. I'm really glad that I did because it's fantastic! I really loved it. It had plot and was about music but it didn't feel like you were shoving facts or info down our throats, it just all flowed and meshed really well. Totally snagging the pdf

Date: 2010-07-16 03:51 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] raeschae.livejournal.com
Wow - thank you! I'm really glad that the story grabbed your attention - that's awesome!
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