So Many Questions - I Need Your Answers

[raeschae]

So I had this idea - to write a fic that examines a question - and I went poking around online for some questions. Below are the four that I found most interesting or thought provoking. I'm going to write about one of them, I'm just not sure which one yet.


* Would you rather have a great friend you could share everything with or a great lover you can’t really talk to?

* Would you ever start a relationship with someone who was still living with an ex for financial reasons?

* Do you consider yourself sexually open minded?

* Have you ever had a true one-night stand?


Why even bring it up, if I don't know where I'm going with it? Because I'm curious to see what you guys think. Which question appeals to you? Which, if any, of them do you have a strong reaction or opinion about? Talk to me, help me choose. Or just scrap them all in favor of something you'd rather see. :)


(Oh, and PS, this one will contain supporting characters and side pairings so who, besides the Js, do you wanna see hooked up?)

Comments

[expectative.livejournal.com]

I really like the two first ones!

Side pairing hmmm... I don't care, but I'm in the mood for some Chad love! (I'm sure I'm not the only one!)

[raeschae.livejournal.com]

You are not the only one - a couple of people have been asking me to show Chad love lately. Maybe I'll watch that ABC Family movie he's in tonight and get inspired. ;)

[dugindeep.livejournal.com]

IDK why but the second is setting off alarms, like, no way would I. LOL then again, I'm very skeptical of guys and exes and all that jazz after unknowingly being the other woman in one relationship and being cheated on in two others :(

[expectative.livejournal.com]

See, that's interesting because I'm the kind of guy who just doesn't care. I'm not jealous at all, and if I'm being told that it's an ex, that's it, I'll believe it. Maybe I'm just really naive, or it's just that I never had someone that I really liked that much, if that even makes sense!

[nightporters.livejournal.com]

I thought I was sexually open-minded until I joined LJ. Then I realised how tame I really am. I am vanilla woman. So that's the one leaps out.

[raeschae.livejournal.com]

You and me both, sister! That's part of the reason the question seems so intriguing to me, I think.

[04dreamer04.livejournal.com]

I really like the first two questions, for some reason those two really jump out at me. As for the third one? I'm with nightporters on that one. I was totally 100% vanilla before I found LJ. And then... well, I'm still fairly vanilla but I've been turned to the dark side ;)

[raeschae.livejournal.com]

I haven't met anyone yet in this fandom who didn't discover kinks they didn't know they had through fic. At least, ones they like to read about.

OH, here's an interesting question: Just because you like to read/watch porny things, does it also mean that you'd like to try them? Most people will say no, but I wonder if there's not a certain level of curiosity, even if your desire and your brain tell you two totally different things. Hm ... *ponders*

[iniq.livejournal.com]

I find the first two very interesting, but think the second one is too odd to be real. (I doubt it would work. I mean, the awkwardness alone... and yet, secretly I want J2 to break up, keep living together, and get back together again. XP Just to prove that it can't work.)

Can't wait to see what you're going to do with this fic - and very curious which of the questions you're going to play with! :D

[raeschae.livejournal.com]

I know there are people who do it but I can't imagine it's not without some awkwardness somewhere down the line. It's an interesting subject to consider.

[live-laugh-love.livejournal.com]

dude. any one of them would be great. I'd be interested in the true one night stand thing because I don't know if people actually have those any more. I have had two, and if you offered me a million dollars RIGHT NOW to tell you I cannot for the life of me remember their names. I can tell you what they looked like, and how the sex was, though. That's what's important in a one night stand, right?

I'd like to see Mike/Chris or Tom/Chris. Although Tom/Chris would probably look weird in my head.

[raeschae.livejournal.com]

NGL, Tom/Chris made me laugh out loud. Mike/Chris, in my head, involves a lot of Eliot Spencer-esque sidelong looks and Mike laughing his ass off most of the time. Could be fun, we'll see!

I think you're right - the one night stand thing is interesting to me, especially in fic since it always starts there and turns into more. Hm...

[taintedlove.livejournal.com]

I like the first and third one. WRITE BITCH WRITE.

So, as far as thoughts/reactions/whatever go, I'd be kind of interested to see someone try to have a one night stand and try to deal with the 'oh shit, this was amazing but I'm not supposed to ever see this guy again, wtf?'. And the great friend/lover is on my mind a lot lately. If you have a friend who is almost everything you could want, except that they're not a lover, is it worth it to just get really friendly with you right hand to have almost everything? Or should you just have a significant other that scratches that itch? Because it is really important. From someone who is snuggle deprived 85% of the time, physical attraction and interaction is really, really important. So, yeah. I'd like to see more on that.

And sexually open minded... That's kind of interesting. I found this incredible article about girls and how they're supposed to be sexy but not sexual, I wish I could go into more detail but I really just remember basic points. It talks about how girls are supposed to want to be desirable, but not ever really act on it. They're not 'supposed' to want sex, or know how to take care of themselves sexually, but they're supposed to be available for men to fantasize about. It went into detail about how women fake orgasms because they don't know what they like, so they'll just do whatever. (this is all relevant, I swear.) I think it would be interesting to get into someone's head who tries all the kinky stuff because it's what their partner wants, but isn't actually turned on by it. It's a hard balance between wanting to give someone what they want, and wanting to be taken care of yourself.

I don't know if any of that made any sense, but let's pretend like it did, yeah? :P

CHAD/SOPHIA. DUH. I don't know why I'm so obsessed with them lately, BUT I AM. I also have a sick obsession with Sandy/Chris. IT'S NOT MY FAULT.

[raeschae.livejournal.com]

I'm seriously considering using Chad/Sophia in this one, for you and for a couple of other people, and I think I know the angle I'm going to use for them in the story. :D

You're right about the first topic, I think. It's funny, I just read this book that I think you should totally read because while I was reading it, I kept thinking 'Cass would love this.' It's called Will Grayson Will Grayson by John Green (who wrote my favorite YA book of all time, An Abundance of Katherines) and Dave Levithan. In it, one of the lead characters makes a pointedly awesome revelation about the love he feels for his best friend about how we always equate love with sex but sometimes you just love someone because you love who they are. It's okay to do that and love someone else, who you also have sex with. I don't know - it's fascinating to me and I really liked that point in the book. It might work it's way in here, too. Hm...

And I think you totally gave me another point for the story, as well, with the sexually open-mindedness. Seriously, all of this conversation is making me want to do, as transfixeddream suggested, a Love, Actually kind of story with multiple relationship-centered story lines that all tie together somehow.

[jett-black8803.livejournal.com]

So, the second question is jumping out at me because I actually know three different people who are living with exes right now. Well I guess one situation doesn't count as an ex, but I'll get to that.

First situation is strictly financial. They tried to sell the house, couldn't, and neither can afford it on their own. It's actually working out okay but I think it's only because they have a kid and that kinda buffers any awkwardness. Although neither have started dating again so maybe the awkwardness is on the horizon.

Second situation is a little more interesting. This is a situation I would avoid like the plague if I was an outsider. The two people were roommates and longtime friends, they dated for about a year and then broke up but remained friends and still lived together. If I was interested in either one of them I'd have to back off because I just don't know that I could trust that their friendship would only stay a friendship.

The third situation is the weirdest though. Okay, here's how it works. Gay guy and straight girl are best friends. They go to a party, get drunk and end up having sex. (My gay friends swear that most gay guys at least attempt to sleep with a woman at some point in their lives) Anyway, nine months later a bundle of joy arrives. They remain very good friends and live together so they can raise their child together. The girl is now married and the guy is dating a longterm boyfriend who also lives with them. It's a very strange situation.

Anyway, don't know if that helps you at all. I just thought it would be interesting to share.

[raeschae.livejournal.com]

It IS interesting. Fascinating, in fact. I love all of these examples, actually. Though I think the question asked above relates to the first example, I'm more intrigued by the second. And I was really trying to stay away from kidfic, but now I'm kind of intrigued at the idea of adding a child into the mix and trying to see what that does to the conflict.

[gemini8.livejournal.com]

Hi,
1) why would I have to choose between my best friend and my lover? They like each other just fine! (but not too fine, which answers question 3). Oddly, after 22 years together if I had to give up sex with my husband or give up talking to him, I would keep sex!!
2) theoretically yes (I'm naive and optimistic a combination which leads to believing what people tell me, yes, that's right, they call me Captain Gullible!) But I would probably not end up handling it well because I'm possessive and jealous and seeing someone be intimate, especially with someone they used to be sexually intimate with, would upset me.
3) Way more than I used to be. But happy to stay monogamous.
4) Nope.

The Js and a girl? (well you asked if I was open minded? hmm, does this qualify as open minded or dirty minded?)

Hugs,
H.

[raeschae.livejournal.com]

Again, threesome was not something I was considering and am now intrigued by! Every time someone comments, my brain spins off in another direction!!

For most people, I think the ideal is having both in one - best friend and lover - but if you haven't found that and had to choose ... I don't know. I think it'd be impossible to maintain a relationship with those dynamics between three separate people but I'm not sure that you can really be happy with only one of the dynamics presented. It's definitely something worth thinking about and examining further.

[noxelementalist.livejournal.com]

*reads questions*

truth be told, I don't see how you couldn't do 2-4 in combo.

I mean, 1 honestly doesn't stand out much to me (probably becuase I wouldn't consider someone a great lover who wasn't a great friend first, but that's probably just me), but 2-4 all seem very interesting.

The reason I'd think to do it in combo is because I can see how 3 & 4 relate (what counts as a true one-night stand- can you even have one?) and how 2 & 4 relate (for example, how awkward is it if the ex thought they were person 3's one-stand?), and thus how 2 & 3 relate (how open minded do you have to be to start a relationship in that scenario). Which would result in awesomeness.

As for side pairings, honestly? I kinda want something crazy like, say, Tom/Chad. although honestly you could cycle so many pairings around Chad that's it not even funny (oh god, that be a great side plot for comparison- J2 vs the Chadverse!)

[raeschae.livejournal.com]

Just saying 'the Chadverse' scares me. ;D

I realize, the more I think about this, that I can't do any of them without tangling them up in the others. Okay, so I could but now I don't think I want to. I think I just want to create this tangled web of all these characters and see how they all relate to each other when they're stuffed into these awkward situations.

God, this fic is going to be 100K if I don't watch myself.

[kubis.livejournal.com]

I was going to try and be helpful, but then I've noticed that you're considering writing Love, Actually type of a story and now my mind is like this: "YES, PLEASE!".

But okay. Let's do this, brain.

1. I'd rather have a great friend. The truth is, it's all about the connection and sure, you can have a connection based on sex and limited to that, but in the end, it's just a satisfaction in one part of your life, right?
On the other hand, some people may prefer a great lover, because their other needs are fulfilled somewhere else (by someone else) or because they are amotionally shut-down and just don't want to share anything outside of sex and (maybe) everyday stuff that don't require any connection whatsover.
2. I think I'd not feel secure enough to do that. There would probably be too much self-doubt and "I want to trust you, but I'm worried, because she's your ex/prettier/better/available".
3. I would say yes in some ways and not so much in others. Fandom definitely opened my eyes to some stuff, but there are things I'd never do.
4. No. And I'm not sure that would work for me. I'm not saying "definitely not", but I'm not looking for it or planning to do it.

And I like the first two questions the most. Fourth could be interesting, too.


Btw, I'd really like to read about your writing process one day. Or more like, planning/figuring things-to-write out process, because I wonder where "to write a fic that examines a question" came from. Is this the idea to challenge yourself or to write something specific?

[raeschae.livejournal.com]

My writing process is so ridiculously random, I'm sure it would confuse you more than explain anything! It's like this - I'm watching television or surfing the internet or listening to music, something pops into my head and I think 'That might be interesting' so I play around with it and maybe start a document for it. Nine times out of ten, it'll disappear or fade away or be completely ignored. One time, something sticks and I run with it. There really isn't much of a process. Unless you count annoying people by talking about it too much and then deciding there's no story there to tell a process. :D

[jesseofthenorth.livejournal.com]

* Already made this choice, have had them both, great friend wins hands down

* Never in a million years never ever no effing way!

* To a point. Open minded totally. Just not really ...uh adventurous?

* Yes. Served the purpose but not really an ideal.


1 and 2 are the most appealing fiction wise

[raeschae.livejournal.com]

Your answers are actually right in line with some of the outlining that I've been doing today!

[blondie-lottie.livejournal.com]

Wow. These really are thought provoking questions, the kind that my best friend and I would normally have with each other when we have our girly catch ups.

Like a lot of people on here I thought I was kinda vanilla (but with sprinkles and sauce.) I've got kinks and I've explored some of them too, even done the true one-night stand thing too but it was really not my thing. I guess I have discovered more kinks via the SPN-fandom, though most are the read only type and not re-enact.

I think the first question is the one that gets me most because I'd find it so difficult not to have a rapport or connection beyond the physical with someone.

As for the side pairing? I'm getting swayed by the Chad love I'm seeing above in a few other comments.

[raeschae.livejournal.com]

Oh, the Chad is definitely one of the main supporting characters in this one - he'll have his own arc and everything!

[princesslanie.livejournal.com]

a great friend
yes
YES
yes

[sothcweden.livejournal.com]

I like the first (friend vs. lover) and the third (open-minded) the most as options for stories. I have parental history that make the second question uncomfortable for me, and since I'm all about having connection along with the sex in fic, the fourth doesn't draw me.

I'm not too invested in side pairings, but I'm a fan of the guys having friends who are more than just drinking buddies...

[batman-mcghee.livejournal.com]

1. While I think it’s entirely possible to find both a best friend and a fantastic lover in the same person (isn’t that what we’re all searching for in life?), I do know that I can make the choice between the two options if necessary. For me, I see many ways of expressing myself and working through my issues. While talking to a great friend would be ideal, if I had to remove that as an option, I’d be satisfied with other means. Example: this exact forum you’re using – blogging/journaling. Also there are people in our lives who we can confide in; family, church members, co-workers, classmates. Point is, there are many, many avenues to fulfill your emotional needs. Sexually, there’s nothing in the world that can replace another’s touch. Sure, you can provide yourself an orgasm, but how long can that be enough? How long can you be happy with sub par sexual partners? Humans are pleasure seekers by nature; humans and dolphins are the only species that mate for pleasure. All others mate for procreation. If I can find a true lover but never really find somebody I can wholly confide in, I’d still feel complete.

2. I would definitely start a relationship with a person who is still living with their ex because of finances. I think a better question would be if I could have a trusting and meaningful relationship with somebody who still lived with their ex. Two different things. And the answer to the second question really boils down to what type of relationship the former lovers have together. If its something that is broken both physically and emotionally, then I can get beyond it. If they’re still tied to each other emotionally, I don’t know that I could be comfortable with my new partner if they’re still hung up on their former relationship.

3. I really do.

4. Nope.

I know I mentioned this earlier, but I’d love to see some Jeffrey Dean Morgan in your fics. Also, I’d LOVE a bromance between Chad and Mike. That would be an even combo of epic win and and epic clusterfuck

[veritas-conner.livejournal.com]

That first one really got me thinking, mostly because I have a bit of an attachment disorder, so having a friend that genuinely cares for you and is actually interested in what you have to say, actually kinda freaks me out cause i'm not used to it. I'm a bit of a lone wolf like that, so having a great lover that i can never really talk to? Might just work. maybe.

[tlcprovider.livejournal.com]

Number 2 is the one that strikes a cord with me.
I could never do it because sometimes I find myself too lazy to want to work at a relationship. That scenario would cause me to have to work at not becoming suspicious of the ex. I am a bit insecure of myself in the romance department. Another red flag number 2 sends to me is....I don't know if I would want to date someone who can't be financialy independent. Does that make me a snob? I would wonder if they just don't make the money or they have a hard time with budgets etc. Stress is what that spells to me. I don't expect someone to be wealthy, but um yeah. Now see to me this option for a fic would lead to much angstin not a good way, and not sure if I would like that. See I am approaching this from someone of my age and if peeps my age haven't gotton it together financially well...
secondary couple....Chad and Mike or Sandy and Tom.

[bornof-sorrow.livejournal.com]

I'm a bit late to see this but the questions caught my eye.

My friend's currently in the second situation for very specific reasons (due to the wife's extremely ill health, even tho the couple are separated). It's weird because as the friend of the "other woman" I care about her wellbeing and am suspicious of the guy. But it does seem straight up (but odd). Anyhow the friend is cautiously happy so don't want to rain on her parade. On the other hand we as her friends worry that she is already compromising and they've only been together a year (throw in a couple of kids and still very present in laws too). Short answer: I wouldn't do it, but I'm not in that situation.

My open-mindedness has been exponentially expanded since lj and fic got their grip of me (but basically vanilla here):D

The great friend/great lover question - depends on what you need in your life at that time. At one point I had both - and they were friends too. Very stressful but fun.

No. The one that was meant to be turned into marriage!