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raeschaeTitle: Sometimes You Do
Author:![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-userinfo.gif)
raeschae
Wordcount: 1K
Rating: G
Pairing(s): J2
Summary: Jensen shares his favorite book with Jared.
(This is an outtake from Sneaking Out.)
"Which one's your favorite?"
Jensen looks up from his computer long enough to see Jared standing in front of one of his bookshelves. It seems as though Jared never ceases to be amazed at the enormity of Jensen's library. Maybe if he didn't wake up to it every morning, Jensen would be a little more impressed, too.
"Favorite what?" he asks, signing out of his e-mail before he powers the laptop down. He's kidding, of course, but Jared gives him this incredulous look that's funny enough to make teasing him worth it.
"Jonas brother," Jared fires back sarcastically.
"Frank," Jensen answers. He's pretty sure there isn't a Jonas named Frank, but what the hell does Jensen know? Maybe he's a lucky guesser.
Jared stares at him for a long moment, head tilted, considering. He has to know how much shit Jensen's going to give him if he corrects him on this one. Instead, he shrugs and turns his attention back to the shelf.
He runs his fingers over the bindings, most of them tattered and cracked paperbacks. His parents bought him a Kindle for his birthday, but there's something about the feel and the smell of a book in his hands that Jensen can't give up. It's fine when he's traveling, but Jensen still prefers the hard copies.
"To Kill a Mockingbird," he finally takes pity on Jared with a real answer. Jared smiles, eyes scanning the titles, so Jensen points vaguely to a shelf. "This first one, sixth row from the bottom, dead center." It's not the Dewey Decimals or anything but Jensen has a system. He's the only one who understands it and he likes it that way.
Book in hand, Jared climbs onto Jensen's massive platform bed and situates himself against the sprawling, padded headboard. "How many times have you read it?"
Huffing a laugh, Jensen scratches his hand over the back of his head and shrugs his shoulders. "Dude, I don't know. I don't count." When Jared rests it on his thigh to flip it open, Jensen adds, "Be careful with it, though. The middle's fallin' out."
Jared smiles like that's a better answer to his question and Jensen can feel a blush burning up the back of his neck. With everyone else, he plays this off as some silly collection that his parents just won't stop buying for him, but Jared knows the truth. He knew it the second he stepped into Jensen's room for the first time, Jensen could tell.
"This why you wanna go to law school?" Jared asks, focus drifting from the yellow pages to Jensen and back again, shaggy hair falling into his eyes as he skims the words distractedly.
"Yeah," Jensen admits, crawling onto the bed to sit next to Jared. He carefully lifts the book and turns to the page he knows by heart. "Read it for the first time when I was thirteen. That's when I knew."
Jensen's used to attention. Hell, Jensen postures for attention all the time. He likes being known, being liked and envied and wanted. He doesn't pretend to be something he's not, but he only gives people a teaser of his reality, just enough to keep them hooked and wanting more. When Jared smiles at him, all bright eyes and dimples a guy could get lost in, Jensen feels like maybe Jared is seeing the whole show. The fact that he keeps tuning in means more than Jensen will ever tell him.
"Which part?" Jared presses, eager as though he can't get far enough into Jensen's mind.
"Which part what? Made me wanna become a lawyer? Or which part's my favorite?"
Jared shifts a little, one hand idly drawing patterns on the back of Jensen's hand. "Both?"
He looks like he wants to retract the statement but Jensen finds that he doesn't mind. He likes that Jared wants to know him. He likes it way too damn much sometimes.
"Alright, well, the career-inspiring passage probably isn't a huge shock," he says, chuckling as he scans the page for the part he practically knows from memory. "But there is one way in this country in which all men are created equal - there is one human institution that makes a pauper the equal of a Rockefeller, the stupid man the equal of an Einstein, and the ignorant man the equal of any college president. That institution, gentlemen, is a court. It can be the Supreme Court of the United States or the humblest JP Court in the land, or this honorable court which you serve. Our courts have their faults, as does any human institution, but in this country our courts are the great levelers-"
Jensen almost trips over the last line when Jared finishes it with him, "and in our courts all men are created equal."
With a shy shrug, Jared defends himself with a simple, "What? I'm literate."
Pointing to the closet door across from the bed, he smiles and says, "That's my favorite line," referring to the words painted in bold, black letters above the door.
Courage is when you know you're licked before you begin, but you begin anyway and see it through no matter what. You rarely win, but sometimes you do.
"I painted the first sentence up there the day before I came out to my parents," he explains. "I was so sure they were gonna freak out and go ballistic, or just deny it all and tell me I was being ridiculous." He can laugh now at how scared he was just a couple of years ago. "After I told my mom that I put it up there, she made me finish it with the second sentence." Blinking away the unexpected emotion, he explains, "She told me that any time I doubt how proud she and my dad are of me, I should come up here and remind myself that sometimes you do win."
Jared tangles their fingers together, squeezing just enough for Jensen to nod his head; Jensen's mom was right. Sometimes you do win.
Author:
raeschaeWordcount: 1K
Rating: G
Pairing(s): J2
Summary: Jensen shares his favorite book with Jared.
(This is an outtake from Sneaking Out.)
"Which one's your favorite?"
Jensen looks up from his computer long enough to see Jared standing in front of one of his bookshelves. It seems as though Jared never ceases to be amazed at the enormity of Jensen's library. Maybe if he didn't wake up to it every morning, Jensen would be a little more impressed, too.
"Favorite what?" he asks, signing out of his e-mail before he powers the laptop down. He's kidding, of course, but Jared gives him this incredulous look that's funny enough to make teasing him worth it.
"Jonas brother," Jared fires back sarcastically.
"Frank," Jensen answers. He's pretty sure there isn't a Jonas named Frank, but what the hell does Jensen know? Maybe he's a lucky guesser.
Jared stares at him for a long moment, head tilted, considering. He has to know how much shit Jensen's going to give him if he corrects him on this one. Instead, he shrugs and turns his attention back to the shelf.
He runs his fingers over the bindings, most of them tattered and cracked paperbacks. His parents bought him a Kindle for his birthday, but there's something about the feel and the smell of a book in his hands that Jensen can't give up. It's fine when he's traveling, but Jensen still prefers the hard copies.
"To Kill a Mockingbird," he finally takes pity on Jared with a real answer. Jared smiles, eyes scanning the titles, so Jensen points vaguely to a shelf. "This first one, sixth row from the bottom, dead center." It's not the Dewey Decimals or anything but Jensen has a system. He's the only one who understands it and he likes it that way.
Book in hand, Jared climbs onto Jensen's massive platform bed and situates himself against the sprawling, padded headboard. "How many times have you read it?"
Huffing a laugh, Jensen scratches his hand over the back of his head and shrugs his shoulders. "Dude, I don't know. I don't count." When Jared rests it on his thigh to flip it open, Jensen adds, "Be careful with it, though. The middle's fallin' out."
Jared smiles like that's a better answer to his question and Jensen can feel a blush burning up the back of his neck. With everyone else, he plays this off as some silly collection that his parents just won't stop buying for him, but Jared knows the truth. He knew it the second he stepped into Jensen's room for the first time, Jensen could tell.
"This why you wanna go to law school?" Jared asks, focus drifting from the yellow pages to Jensen and back again, shaggy hair falling into his eyes as he skims the words distractedly.
"Yeah," Jensen admits, crawling onto the bed to sit next to Jared. He carefully lifts the book and turns to the page he knows by heart. "Read it for the first time when I was thirteen. That's when I knew."
Jensen's used to attention. Hell, Jensen postures for attention all the time. He likes being known, being liked and envied and wanted. He doesn't pretend to be something he's not, but he only gives people a teaser of his reality, just enough to keep them hooked and wanting more. When Jared smiles at him, all bright eyes and dimples a guy could get lost in, Jensen feels like maybe Jared is seeing the whole show. The fact that he keeps tuning in means more than Jensen will ever tell him.
"Which part?" Jared presses, eager as though he can't get far enough into Jensen's mind.
"Which part what? Made me wanna become a lawyer? Or which part's my favorite?"
Jared shifts a little, one hand idly drawing patterns on the back of Jensen's hand. "Both?"
He looks like he wants to retract the statement but Jensen finds that he doesn't mind. He likes that Jared wants to know him. He likes it way too damn much sometimes.
"Alright, well, the career-inspiring passage probably isn't a huge shock," he says, chuckling as he scans the page for the part he practically knows from memory. "But there is one way in this country in which all men are created equal - there is one human institution that makes a pauper the equal of a Rockefeller, the stupid man the equal of an Einstein, and the ignorant man the equal of any college president. That institution, gentlemen, is a court. It can be the Supreme Court of the United States or the humblest JP Court in the land, or this honorable court which you serve. Our courts have their faults, as does any human institution, but in this country our courts are the great levelers-"
Jensen almost trips over the last line when Jared finishes it with him, "and in our courts all men are created equal."
With a shy shrug, Jared defends himself with a simple, "What? I'm literate."
Pointing to the closet door across from the bed, he smiles and says, "That's my favorite line," referring to the words painted in bold, black letters above the door.
Courage is when you know you're licked before you begin, but you begin anyway and see it through no matter what. You rarely win, but sometimes you do.
"I painted the first sentence up there the day before I came out to my parents," he explains. "I was so sure they were gonna freak out and go ballistic, or just deny it all and tell me I was being ridiculous." He can laugh now at how scared he was just a couple of years ago. "After I told my mom that I put it up there, she made me finish it with the second sentence." Blinking away the unexpected emotion, he explains, "She told me that any time I doubt how proud she and my dad are of me, I should come up here and remind myself that sometimes you do win."
Jared tangles their fingers together, squeezing just enough for Jensen to nod his head; Jensen's mom was right. Sometimes you do win.
![[identity profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/openid.png){kind=small}
no subject
Date: 2011-02-01 02:43 pm (UTC)For me, this was a very emotional read, my own school years was.. less than good, and I could see a lot of myself in Jared.
Thank you for making his last year of HS so good, but then...what school wouldn't be awesome with Jensen in it?
no subject
Date: 2011-02-01 02:46 pm (UTC)I'm glad you could connect to the story, though I'm sorry that it took you to a rather painful place. Thanks for reading it - I'm glad you liked it!
no subject
Date: 2011-02-01 03:39 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2011-02-01 05:31 pm (UTC)I wasn't a big fan of HS AU until recently, but now that I've starting reading them, I think I agree. There can never be enough!
no subject
Date: 2011-02-01 04:33 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2011-02-01 05:32 pm (UTC)(no subject)
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Date: 2011-02-01 07:42 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2011-02-01 07:54 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2011-02-01 07:47 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2011-02-01 07:56 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2011-02-01 08:44 pm (UTC)There was not one sentence of this beautiful thing that was less than I excpected.
Thank you so much for a very fine and satisfying read.
no subject
Date: 2011-02-01 08:50 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2011-02-01 08:55 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2011-02-01 08:58 pm (UTC)Or possibly because you drank the Kool-Aid. (That's probably more likely.)
(no subject)
From:no subject
Date: 2011-02-01 10:14 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2011-02-02 02:55 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2011-02-02 12:57 am (UTC)I still love this story. It's fabulous and you treated the characters with such respect and gave them so many facets that I would love to see more of them!
So proud of you bb ♥
no subject
Date: 2011-02-02 02:57 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2011-02-02 02:06 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2011-02-02 02:57 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2011-02-02 02:09 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2011-02-02 03:01 am (UTC)I'll let you in on a secret - the original draft of this story had no porny things in it at all and I wanted to give you something porny (as you are the queen of the PWP), so that's what this one was supposed to be.
Apparently, my ability to porn is far surpassed by my ability to schmoop and I couldn't make it dirty once they were all snuggled up on the bed with a book! For once, my porn fail turned into something I loved even more, though.
tl;dr: I am so giddy right now that you liked it! ♥
(no subject)
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Date: 2011-02-02 02:39 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2011-02-02 03:02 am (UTC)Anyway, I'm really glad you liked the story! Thank you!!
(no subject)
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Date: 2011-02-02 03:18 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2011-02-02 03:24 am (UTC)(no subject)
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Date: 2011-02-02 04:44 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2011-02-02 12:37 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2011-02-02 12:48 pm (UTC)I felt for Jared SO damn hard, and you captured his fish-out-of-water mindframe so damn well. God, I just love him. The supporting characters are awesome - each of them are so fleshed out it's ridiculous. You have way too much talent, for REAL. And Jensen, well. What can I even say about him? Well, one I kind of love him, too. I love how carefree he is, until it comes to Jared and then he's just this - dude, I don't even know. I just want to squeeze him so fucking hard. Preferably along with Jared, but I'm not exactly picky.
NGL, I'm pretty sure this is now my favorite of all your other works. I just. GAH. I'm way tired so I'm sucking at explaining, but just know, this was fucking fantastic, if you haven't figured it out yet. I'm also going to take credit for this fic for pushing you to join the exchange in the first place. DEAL WITH IT. ♥
no subject
Date: 2011-02-02 12:57 pm (UTC)First of all, I will totally share credit with you for writing this fic in the first place. If I recall correctly, the conversation went something like this:
You: Do afterclass.
Me: I don't do HS fic.
You: Do it anyway.
Me: I don't know if I can.
You: DO. IT.
Me: Okay.
In conclusion, I am a sheep and you are an enabler. This is a terrible combination. But thank you for pushing me out of my comfort zone.
You have no idea how ridiculously happy it makes me to know that you liked it. The longer I wrote, the more I fell in love with these guys so it makes me all warm and fuzzy when other people connect with them, too.
tl;dr Thank you. (I fail in the face of praise.)
no subject
Date: 2011-02-02 05:34 pm (UTC)I loved Jared and Jensen and how they both of the lingering insecurities and self doubts yet others don't quite pick up on it like they each do about the other...('cause Jared did eventually figure out that Jensen was a different Jensen than the one other thought he was, namely Gen.)
I really enjoyed Gen in this though because I think Jared needed someone on the outside telling him that he needed to watch out for himself...the reasons she felt that way might not have had any merit behind them, but it was good that she at least tried to warn Jared I think.
Really loved Aldis in this as well, I liked that he seemed to really want to be Jared's friend and more of less kinda chose his 'side' when he walked around Jensen & Misha and went to Jared and walked to class with him. I'm also really glad that he let Jared know what was going on.
Also, To Kill a Mockingbird is my second favorite (might actually be tied for favorite) book and I adore the fact that it's Jensen's favorite book as well. I think the quotes that you pulled from the book are amazing and worked extremely well with these boys.
Fabulous read Sweetie.
*hugs*
no subject
Date: 2011-02-02 11:38 pm (UTC)You don't even know how happy I am that you liked Gen in this story. There were times, when I was writing it, that I worried she might be seen as a bit of a wet blanket, but I think you're right. She was totally looking out for Jared, and I think she was telling him as much of the truth as she knew, from her perspective. As much of the truth as Jensen ever let her, or anyone else, see.
And Aldis! He's my favorite supporting character right now - I don't even know why. I just love him!!
To Kill a Mockingbird is in my top five favorite books of all time, too! Narrowing down the quotes I was going to use was hard, but I'm glad you like the ones I chose. That last one is my favorite, for sure. Along with the idea of putting on a man's shoes and walking around in them, but that wasn't really the theme I was going for in that story. ;)
no subject
Date: 2011-02-02 06:26 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2011-02-02 11:40 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2011-02-02 08:11 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2011-02-02 11:42 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2011-02-02 11:20 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2011-02-02 11:44 pm (UTC)Sneaking Out
Date: 2011-02-03 04:46 am (UTC)Re: Sneaking Out
Date: 2011-02-03 11:05 am (UTC)I'm really glad you liked the story, whatever the reason!
no subject
Date: 2011-02-03 05:57 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2011-02-03 11:12 am (UTC)their hypocrisy and drama really reminds me of my own high school experience. You and me both, bb!
I don't know if there will be more of this - I don't have any definite ideas right now - but I'll definitely wring from Jensen's POV next time. :D
no subject
Date: 2011-02-03 07:28 am (UTC)This story was beyond good, or great even. Now, I won't use the P-word like some other person did, just because I know you don't like it- though it totally applies- but seriously, this was freaking beautiful, witty, and altogether brilliantly crafted and written. You really should be proud of yourself on this one.
I absolutely loved how you turned this cool, collected, and pretty bad ass Jensen around and made him feel like he need to make jealous to cover up his own manpain. And I loved how you had Jared come into his own, it was a very smooth and natural progression.
tl;dr
K gonna stop fanboying you now, just gotta say that you are one very talented writer and thank you so much for sharing this.
no subject
Date: 2011-02-03 11:19 am (UTC)I don't know about the P word, but I am proud of the story and it means the world that you liked it. And I kind of love these characters, so it makes me smile to know that you liked them, too.
Thanks so much for reading. And I hope you enjoyed your sleep. ;)
no subject
Date: 2011-02-03 09:37 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2011-02-04 12:50 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2011-02-04 01:59 am (UTC)The character voices in this are so painfully beautiful and real. I love that you didn't bog down the story with unnecessary or unrealistic plot twists in order to create angst. Instead, you trusted enough in your characters to let their struggle to grow up and find themselves be enough to carry the narrative.
no subject
Date: 2011-02-04 04:36 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2011-02-04 10:49 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2011-02-05 10:43 pm (UTC)I'm really glad you liked the story, even if it did make you cry. I'm glad that you connected to it enough to feel it like that. Thank you!